Needed and Necessary??? Who Me?

When I wrote this post a few weeks ago, it sat in the draft area because I didn’t feel the timing was right to put it up. 

Saturday morning seemed perfect. 

Friday night and all day Saturday, I was one of several speakers sharing at a seminar held at our church.  Part of my speaking time included sharing parts of my testimony.  Let me tell you—that was NOT a comfortable place for me.  Up on the platform of the church sanctuary with microphone in hand was way out of my comfort zone.  I even contemplated not wearing my glasses thinking perhaps it would be easier if all the people’s faces were blurry. J   

Grace came down in buckets and I survived.  I think I was actually understandable in most of what I shared.  Afterwards, I had the privilege to pray with a couple ladies and talked with several others about all things Jesus.  It was a rich weekend!

I came home and read through the notes some of you had sent about what I posted.  After reflecting and smiling a bit I thought, “Only you, Jesus, could ever do anything with the me behind my story!  That in and of itself amazes me!”

Then Sunday came. 

I sat with my girls in Sunday School as we talked through some of their junior high aged questions given to me anonymously the week before.  It was good.  God helps me every Sunday answer questions and respond to statements these sweet, innocent, hurting girls have and I know without a doubt that the Holy Spirit is on the job—because I would fail them every time if I was left on my own.

Here is some of what is coming against my girls and other teens in our church:

* Heavy drinking parents.

* Getting sucked into the “emo” world.

* Eating disorders.
* Pornography. 
* Fears—fear of failure, of man, of rejection, of being the cause of Dad's anger and his leaving.

* In the midst of divorce with the breaking, fighting and crumbling all around.

* Learning to live life not fearing seizures.

* Love-starved=not just boy crazy, but aggressively seeking attention

* Deep-seeded anger that has become rage and bitterness.
* Abuse—emotionally, physically, sexually.
*  Rebellion against authority and contempt—fighting for what they are entitled too.
*  Performing/masquerade/going through the motions.
* Crippled by inadequacy.
* Questioning worthiness.
* Emotional Torments.
* Insecurity.
* Deep father wounds.
* Shame.
* Control.

* The ones we only see occasionally, depending on which parent has them.

* And the quiet ones who concern me because I do not know their story.

Sunday I broke!

We were at the tail end of the Missions potluck {I love potlucks, by-the-way!} and one of my sweetest, quietest girls came over to talk to me.  It wasn’t what she said—or even what she didn’t say.  I can’t explain it, really.  But when she walked away—my heart broke and tears burst.

How can I even begin to love these girls well enough? 

How can I make a difference in their lives?

How can I love away their hurt?

I feel so inadequate!

And you know what . . . all I CAN do is love them. 

I can love them by listening, encouraging, supporting and answering their call for help as best I can by the help and grace of God. 

I can pray for them and trust God to work miracles in their heart, mind, emotions, relationships and day-to-day living.

I can battle for them in the spiritual realm by standing in the gap and rebuking the enemy's attacks against them!

I can be present for them and cheer for each one because they are worthy of being cheered for!!!

I can sacrifice my time, energy, money, focus, talents and ability in the kitchen to assure them they are worth the effort to love on.

I can stop expecting from them 

and fully offer myself to them.

Who needs you today?

What can you do to love some hurting heart well today?

I’d love a few more ideas myself! J

YOU are needed and necessary 

in your sphere of influence! 

YES YOU!!!
and me.

It’s About the Lies

That big fear of mine?  It didn’t just come about as my children came of age!

My fear of failing as a mother grew as they grew.

My fear of failing God in my mothering grew as the evidence stacked against me.

What I have learned of our enemy is that he is not creative—he doesn’t have to be.  He just has to know human nature.  And he does.  He has studied us for years.  He plays off our weaknesses . . . which he’s figured out while watching us be mistreated over the years.  

Sinful people have sinned against us.  

Hurting people have hurt us.

And we've reacted.

He saw this young, naïve, hurting-for-attention girl get duped by a man in spiritual authority over her.  And the spin he fed her thoughts was that she was a failure to God. 

Had he—had anyone—spoken those words to her at the time, she would never have agreed.

“Jesus loves me, this I KNOW!” 

But seeds only grow when they are nurtured.  And there is enough sun, water and fertilizer in this world to give the fields of failure a bumper crop!

And in me—the harvest was bountiful.

“How have I failed Thee . . . let me count the ways!”

At age 13, the field was plowed.

In my 40’s, I discovered the field flourishing.

We can deny we are in a battle all we want.  It does not change the facts.  We are.  In a battle!

The battle is real. 

And it is fierce. 

The costs are high. 

Spoils for either side. 

Souls!

I thought all these insecure thoughts were my own!

Not realizing I had a REAL enemy!  An enemy willing to take advantage of my hurt!

I believe now the lie he fed me then was, “You failed God.”

And as I grew older the lie grew with me to, “You will always fail God!”

Every time I did something wrong, or said something dumb, or didn’t accomplish something expected, or made a disaster of something—that failure got filed in the box labeled with the original lie.

Time goes by.  Years accumulate.  Failures rise.

Babies are born.  Children grow.  Young adults now stand before me.

And I realize my fear has frozen me.

Can there be enough grace to save the children of such a failure like me?

How could I imagine raising godly children for the Kingdom?

How could I ever foster a close-knit, loving home?

How could I hope to ever win my children’s hearts to myself—let alone God???

I am a failure to God!

I will surely fail at the biggest task He could ever ask me to do!

So the lie goes . . . Until . . . 

The darkness collides with Light.  

The lie exposed.  

The access point revealed.  

The repentance of sins and renouncing of untruths.

Not only is the forgiveness sweet, but something big implodes within!

Satan’s control.

His lies are the epicenter of his control within our soul—our minds, wills and emotions!

When Satan's lies are exposed, 

his power over us implodes!

So what lies have you believed?

What version of the truth has our enemy fed you?

What hurt from long ago could have given access to thoughts now tormenting you?

Maybe today is the day to ask, seek and knock!

Maybe today is your day for the chains to fall free!

I Have a Fear—A Deep Fear of Failing as a Mom!

I fear I have or I will fail my children.

I fear I have or I will fail God in raising them.

I fear—

What I do or don’t do . . .

What I say or don’t say . . .

What I allow or don’t allow . . .
I fear—

If the “whatever” is not received well by them that in rejecting me, my advice, my council, or my perspective of what is “best for them” . . . 

I fear they will reject God.

I fear they will reject God and it will be because of my failure to mother them well. 

However “well” looks for each of them as individuals.

This is fresh revelation, but I have seen its evidence.

There are so many things in this life that just. don’t. matter!

Loving my children well is not one of them.

I am crazy gone over my kids!

As much as I’d like to take their choice away, I can’t!

Just as grace drew me to my knees as a 20-something, tired-out, masquerading, Christ-following fake . . . 

so grace must draw each one of them.

How I wish I had control!

But I don’t.

All I can do is— 

love them,

pray for them,

discipline them,

while discipling them

the best I can with— 

what they will receive, 

what they will listen to, 

with only the wisdom & understanding grace has gifted up to today.

No one can go back.

There are no do-over’s in parenting.

Regret threatens to devour my sanity!

As I cling to my Redeemer—

He loves, 

He prays, 

He disciplines, 

and He disciples me 

all the while redeeming— 

my mistakes, 

my sins, 

my poor choices, 

my “woulda-coulda-shoulda’s” 

and “if only’s”.

Nothing escapes Him.

Nothing is unredeemable for Him.

Nothing reaches beyond His touch.

Fear cannot coincide with Christ! 

So I repent and let healing waters of forgiveness rush my soul.

This freedom of forgiveness deepens trust.

Only He can save.

I cannot.

I can release!

I can trust!

I can pray!

I can rebuke!

I can battle!

I can encourage!

I can challenge!

I can correct!

I can question!
I can love!

I can Mother my best and trust God for the rest—cheesy, but truth!

"Thank you, Jesus, that fear is not my destiny—only my chains.  It was for freedom that You came—for me as well as for my children.  In the power and authority of your name and in your blood, please break these chains threatening to overtake my joy, my hope . . . my peace.  You love them so much more than I.  You love perfect.  Thank you for perfect love casting out all fear!  You know my hopes, my dreams, my prayers for them—and I know they are safe within Your care.  Abba, I love you!  Abba, I belong to you!  Abba, I trust you!  Abba, You are enough!  In this.  In everything.  You are enough!  Amen."

Do you have a fear threatening your faith today?




{Continued in this post on how Satan feeds our thoughts lies . . .}

We Are Blessed! Rejoice and Be Glad!

Multiple scriptures profess the steadfast faithfulness of God to remain near us during our time of difficulty.  I am tired today and have much to do in my world, so I can’t take the time to look them up and post them for you.  But Joshua 1:9 is one that pops to mind quickly in these days . . .

“Be strong and courageous.

Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged.

For the Lord your God is with you wherever you go.” 

Wherever . . . and in whatever!

Four weeks ago today, my life changed in the blink of an eye.

But Abba is the same yesterday, today and tomorrow.

He is only faithful!

He is truly merciful!

We are greatly blessed!

We are perfectly loved!

But I am also flesh and blood— and I struggle, I hurt and I am sad.

I am so grateful for a Savior who loves me in the midst of my weakness just as much as when I am responding strong!

“This is the day the Lord has made.  

I will rejoice and be glad in it!” 

Ps 118:24

My dryer was not drying, now it is fixed—I rejoice and am glad!

My Littles have been sick, but are now well—I rejoice and am glad!

Co-op begins Friday, I am unprepared...but—I rejoice and am glad!

So many have loved & carried us to Abba—I rejoice and am glad!

I do not understand the silence of others...but—I rejoice and am glad!

The medical bills have begun to hit...but—I rejoice and am glad!

I am weepy & struggle to focus on things...but—I rejoice and am glad!

The Fair is on and the Fair is fun—I rejoice and am glad!

We are surrounded by kindness & generosity—I rejoice and am glad!

I miss the voice I have loved hearing since I was 14...but—

I rejoice and am glad!

When We Have No Control

My Sister’s son is severely autistic.  Through the years, she has had to learn to surrender her desire to plan, to understand and to control her situation. 

And trust me, this girl likes a plan. 

She LIVES by a plan. 

She lives TO plan! J 

But she cannot plan autism. 

She cannot control how autism controls her day.

But she can trust the Blessed Controller of all things—Abba!

And for 16 years I have witnessed her grow in that trust!

“Tremble {with fear, anxiety or anger} and do not sin;

Meditate in your heart upon your bed, and be still {be silent and wait}.

Offer the sacrifices of righteousness {have your heart right with God},

And trust in the Lord.” {Securely attach yourself in solid confidence to Yahweh—the God who not only made an unbreakable Covenant with you, but Who is incapable of breaking any of its promises!}

Psalm 4:4, 5

As we waited for the Neurologist in Exam Room 2, my insides trembled a bit.  I was bracing for one of the three scenarios we were previously given and, hopeful still, that she would walk into the room declaring hubby’s brain healed.  But that didn’t happen.

She did declare the problem was not Multiple Sclerosis!  Thank you, Jesus!

But MRI’s do not like metals and there was enough blood on his brain (containing iron) that they could not tell with clarity whether or not this was caused by a Cavernoma.  Her opinion is that he suffered a stroke at a certain time and it then hemorrhaged on the day he showed symptoms.


Her opinion???

Have the MRI images she pointed out resembling Cavernoma’s simply disappeared?  Or are they now covered in blood?

How can he have a stroke caused by hypertension when his blood pressure, outside of her office, is normal?

How can there have been so many tests taken, so much blood work and still there be a guess—an opinion—for the diagnosis?

No control!

No control of what’s going on in his cute, little brain! 

No control over a definite diagnosis!

No control on where this takes us!

No control over his recovery!

No control over its costs!

I have no control! 

Yesterday was my nephew’s first day of his senior year of high school.
It was rough.  And trust me when I say, a rough day in his world is much rougher than that for most of us. 

He had no control.

From my big sister, I learn—

to tremble . . . but not sin!

to depend on God . . . alone!

to be still in Him—relax and wait . . . knowing He is in control!

to trust Him . . . with the process as well as the outcome!

to hope in Him . . . with confident expectation!

God IS in control! 

I thought I had learned to let that be enough
     —to let Him being in control be enough for me. 

Today, the learning goes a little deeper.

Test Reults Day

The anxiety I awoke to in the pit of my stomach was an unwelcomed, familiar surprise.  There were days when that gripping, nauseous feeling lasted all day.  Days where I was consumed with fear!  And that wasn’t all that long ago.

What a difference Abba makes!

Do you remember that old game show, Let’s Make a Deal?  My “rememberer” isn’t all that great, but I believe a contestant won a certain amount of money and they were given the choice to either keep the money or choose one of 3 curtains, winning whatever was behind that curtain.  Sometimes the exchange was in the contestant’s favor—even winning a brand new car.  Other times, they traded hundreds of dollars for a broken down jalopy.  I don’t now why, but I was thinking of that show while trying to sleep last night.

Right now we have three Neurologists opinions of what is wrong with my husband’s brain.

Behind curtain #1—stroke

Behind curtain #2—multiple sclerosis

Behind curtain #3—cavernoma (a type of brain aneurysm)

Today is the day we find out the results of the CT scan, MRI, MRA, Spinal Tap and exhaustive blood tests.  We have been anxious to get answers, but now I want to flee from the day.  I want to escape hearing any words of diagnosis, treatment and expectations the Dr. is ready to share with us. 

And I am reminded of what God reminds me of so often in our quiet time together:

“Let what I want be more important than what you want.”

I want to go to sleep and wake up with this nightmare over.

I want my husband to return from his trip to Oregon the way he left.

I want homeschooling plans to be my focus for the day.

I want the questions of what our future is going to look like, look more like what I thought!

I don’t want a doctor’s answers...I want God’s miraculous, Divine touch!

We know God heals.

We have prayed for healing.

We believe for healing.

We trust Him with our lives.

And our lives are not a game.  

Monty Hall had no control over which choice the contestants made.
No control over what was behind the curtains.

God does! 

Sometimes we get to choose.  Other times, the choice is made for us.  And while today I am wishing, hoping and praying for a curtain #4 to be revealed at our appointment . . . I am at peace.  A deep peace only possible with Yahweh—our covenant making AND keeping God.

I have learned to trust Him with outcomes.

Now He is teaching me to trust Him more deeply 

in the process He takes to get me there.

What answers are you waiting for today?

Are you at deep peace?

Or is fear consuming you, like it consumes so many of us at times?

“If God is for us, who {what} can {will} ever be against us?” Romans 8:31

“He who did not spare His own Son, but delivered Him over for us all, how will He not also with Him freely give us all things.” (v. 32)

“Who {what} will separate us from the love of Christ?  Will tribulation or distress, or persecution, or famine, or nakedness, or peril or sword?”  (v.35)

“But in all these things we overwhelmingly conquer through Him who loved us.  (v. 37)

“For I am convinced that neither death, nor life, nor angels, nor principalities, nor things present, nor things to come, nor powers, nor height, nor depth, nor any other created thing, will be able to separate us from the love of God which is in Christ Jesus our Lord.”  (v. 38-39)

My Pastor reminded us at prayer last night—it’s about praying expectantly!  Not with expectations, but expectantly trusting His Kingdom to come and looking for the good He brings with Him.

I don’t know what to expect at the Neurologist office today.  But I do know what to expect of God—for He can only, always be good!  His Covenant promises assure us of that!

Live Your Faith!

Three Neurologists, three opinions.

The reality that doctors only practice medicine is disconcerting!

But then . . . I know the Great Physician and He. is. God!

Sadness began to settle in my heart a bit today . . .

oh, and a dose of self-pity I suppose too.  

Sad is somewhat acceptable.  

But self-pity is sin.  

So I closed myself in my room with my journal and my Jesus.

Immediately I am reminded of something our pastor said to us while still at the hospital.  “Give me the hard facts of your situation.  Your illness, your circumstance, your ‘whatever’.  There are no harder facts than God’s promises in Scripture!”

We are lacking hard facts right now.  But even once they figure out all that’s going on in his cute little brain—no matter the good, the bad or the ugly—those medical facts are no harder, no truer, no surer than the promises God has made to both me and my husband.  We are not only man and wife, we are brother and sister in the faith—co-heirs with Christ!

I pray and then I listen . . . and I hear—

“Be of good courage.  You believe!  Believe also in Me!  Process your faith through these daily experiences.  Embrace today—all of it!  I will not let you down.  You don’t need to hear more from Me.  You just need to live what you have already heard.  Live your faith!”

And so, in a new way, I begin to live the faith I believe in my head by walking it out from my heart.

He is good, all the time!

All the time, He. IS. Good!

Thank you for your prayers—Soli Deo Gloria!

Robin

**Sharpies are awesome creations and cheaper than personalized jewelry!  The blue bracelet I wear since studying Beth Moore’s “Believing God” . . . Isaiah 43:10; Numbers 15:37-41.

Peace

The sun sets behind trees of an unfamiliar landscape outside my window.  The scene is absolutely breath-taking.  Every color, each leaf, even the shadows overwhelm my senses.  To be overwhelmed by Abba in this moment is comfort as I mentally lift my Shield against fresh thoughts tempting to overwhelm my spirit. 

I turn to my left.  The man who should be standing and sharing this view with me, the man who has shared my bed for 22 years now lays in his own—eyes closed for a bit of rest before the next nurse comes in to check his vitals or take more blood.  I fight the urge to panic as the surreal moment fails to wrap itself around my mind.  I whisper out loud, “I don’t have to understand it all, I just have to trust You.”  After many repeated whispers, the blood pounding in my ears lessens. 

Peace! 

More scary, doubt-filled thoughts rise.  The Shield rises to meet them . . .

“Do not be afraid, keep believing” Mark 5:36. 

“Those who know Your name trust You, for You, Lord, have never abandoned those who seek You” Ps 9:10. 

“Be still and know that I am God” Ps 46:10. 

Once again I turn to the view outside the hospital window fully reminded of Who holds me, Who holds my husband, Who holds my children . . . Who holds my future.  

This kind of peace is not manufactured by effort of will. 

This peace is Divine—and the Divine is mine!  

I raise my eyes toward the mountains.

Where will my help come from?

My help comes from the LORD,

The Maker of heaven and earth.

He will not allow your foot to slip;

Your Protector will not slumber.

Indeed, the Protector of Israel

Does not slumber or sleep.

The LORD protects you;

The LORD is a shelter right by your side.

The sun will not strike you by day,

Or the moon by night.

The LORD will protect you from all harm;

He will protect your life.

The LORD will protect your coming and going

Both now and forever.

Psalm 121

A Personal Note . . .

Writing lately has been uncomfortable as well as unfruitful.  I’m sure you’ve noticed.  Little content with less quality has not been my agenda.  Although God has asked me to be vulnerable and transparent in this place, neither is possible when I don’t feel God leading in the writing.  And some growth seasons with God are just really, really—and I mean extremely hard!  This one has consumed me fully—intermixing with several life and family events as well.  

Our God is the God of perfection when it comes to timing! 

{Perfection in all things really! J}

All of me—flesh and spirit—is made up from both God's original design for my life and my life lived.  It’s the same with you.  Some parts of our story are easier to work out than others.  They are easier to share.  Some we never do.  It is just too hard and we really don’t know what to do with it, where to go with it.  Being stuck not only frustrates, it damages while draining us. 

For a few months now, God has lovingly and painstakingly worked at removing some debris within my soul.  I have never known my wretchedness nor His love so deep as I know both today! 

Much ground has been taken back from the enemy.  Much repentance for sinful ways I have used to cope with lies that enemy led me to believe.  There is much still to do, but I see the horizon of hope in the distance as Abba gently leads me out of one more pit of bondage into the freedom only possible in Christ!

I hope to begin writing again soon.  I will not write just to post something.  I had several writings ready to go from months past and also reworked some things from the archives.  Those being gone, I cannot offer fresh until I feel led by the Holy Spirit to do so—as I am doing now.  It could be as early as tomorrow.  It could be some time next week.  But this place has sat too silent too long.  I have shared too much with you not to openly share now where I am at today. 

Writing here is, without a doubt, an extension of my personal relationship with our Covenant Making and Keeping God!  I would never have started writing at all had He not asked it of me.  Little did I know then what healing and pain would come from it . . . along with a greater ability to absorb what He is teaching me by working the newly learned lesson into something worth sharing.

I thank you for joining me here and wanting to commune with others in this special-to-me place.  Knowing you are just on the other side of this screen has made me delve deeper and write better.  In hopes of exciting you with all that Jesus excites me with daily!  There will be more soon, I feel it!  Until then . . .

Soli Deo Gloria!

Robin

Am I Wanting From The Wrong Giver?

One of my biggest difficulties???

Sacrificing my wants from others!!!

None of us like giving up what we want . . . 

it bothers us to surrender our “rights”.

But whether I can have what I want or can’t—only in giving up my wants can I be free from dependency upon others for being pleased. 

Frees them others up too!

I can be a slave to my emotions.

Am I confident in who I am in Christ?

Do I even know "who" that is???

Do I love where I am today with Christ?

Do I want Him above all other wants—

including those “wants” from others?

Only He can grant me the desires of my heart.  All other attempts from others will fall short. What do I want from them any way?  
Usually the stuff that feeds my fleshly self.

My Pastor spoke awhile back on despair and envy—they’ll crush the life right outta ya if you let them!  So true!

Inwardly despairing—outwardly envying

Jesus asked the blind man before healing him, “What do you want me to do for you?” 

If Jesus were to ask you that same question, how would you respond? 

Could what I want from others be fulfilled in what Christ is already willing to give me?

Am I wanting from the wrong giver?

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Linked up with We Are That Family, Women Living Well, Far Above Rubies, A Steady Rain  and {Titus 2}sDay

Beauty From Ashes

God desires to make with our life something beautiful.

But He cannot take.  We must yield.

He cannot work with a heart unsurrendered to His touch.

I cannot continually pull away when the touch is uncomfortable.

I cannot have a new me while clinging to the old.

If I don’t let go—let the old die—

I remain stuck in desire for more, forever.

Trusting in Him . . .

Yielding to Him . . .

When I allow the Holy Spirit’s fire to flame my soul and burn the chaff—burn all uselessness, all worldliness, all selfishness of the inner man . . . then, and only then, can real beauty rise. 

Beauty from ashes—

I want this!

So as my heart prepares for Easter, I ask what paths to death am I in need of taking.

His reply comes quick . . . 

Self

Entitlements

Recognition

I want the ashes of self
            the ashes of rights
            the ashes of esteem!

Only in the ashes can the beauty of Christ rise within me in such a way as to not only be noticed, but to stop others in their tracks of senseless self-living because the beauty of something powerfully different and undeniably attractive stands before them, bidding them—“come, come die too!”

On my own I am unrecognizable, unimpressive to the world.

But Christ within—

Fully alive and functioning 

as my valleys are given over to be burned . . .

He is the Beauty that stops all, stops me mid-breath—demanding gaze, requiring attention.

I yearn to be a vessel yielded to death.

“Come, Lord Jesus, consume all of me. 

I release my self to your touch. 

I release in trust to burn in Holy fire.

Burned to destroy all that would fight for precedence over me.

I release to become ashes all that desires to consume me . . .

For the beauty You desire within me.”

~ Our Way of Light Wreath . . . for slowing the pace as well as the heart in preparation of Easter.  A candle marks Christ's journey from Ash Wednesday to the candle burning brightly in celebration of Easter Sunday.  They burn all day so as I walk by my rush would slow to remember.  I whisper words of love and gratitude as I consciously turn my gaze on self to rest on Him...practicing until the habit evolves to always, intently, rest in Him ~ Also our Ever Grateful Memo Board ~


And yes, that is a burn mark in hole #5.  That warning wrapping the candle "do not leave unattended"???  Yes, one must not take a nap while a taper candle is burning...duh?!  J

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Let Me Be Enough

Dear One,

Embrace what I’ve asked you to do with no hope of gaining any glory in the process. 

Let my pleasure in your obedience be enough. 

I know you want to measure your success in what you do—offer to others—by their reactions, their expressions towards you concerning it . . . towards the substance of what you’ve given. 

Instead . . . chase after Me and be pleased in your obedience.  
Be pleased and fulfilled just knowing that you have glorified Me in your offering.  

Let that be enough.  

Let it always be enough.

Let what I think of you be enough.

Let who I have created you to be, be enough.

Let my will for your life be enough for you. 

And letting it be enough, let it bring you joy—

joy unspeakable and full of glory—

My glory!

“Let your light so shine before men, that they may see your good works, and glorify your Father which is in heaven.”  Matthew 5:16   

Any glory received is a reflection of Mine shown down upon you.  

Let go of everything not of grace and not good—

pride and hurtful responses that reflect rejection.

Let My pleasure in you be enough 

because it always will be.

The response of man toward your obedience to Me can be disappointing.  Let that refine your gaze more intently onto Jesus.  

Treasure My words of affirmation.  

My love and esteem never runs dry.  

My pleasure never falls short. 

Let Me be enough, Dear One, for I am all you will ever need!

Your Abba Father

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My Own Reply To Today’s Post . . .

Earthly                                                 Heavenly

Wisdom                                               Wisdom

Bitter Jealousy                                    Pure

Selfish Ambition                                 Peaceable

Arrogance                                          Gentle

Lies Against Truth                              Reasonable

Unspiritual                                             *(willing to yield)

Demonic                                              Full of Mercy

Disorder                                               Good Fruits

Every Evil Thing                                  Unwavering

                                                               Without Hypocrisy

I’ve got a confession to make!  I keep reading over those two lists from my post earlier today on James 3:14-18 and . . . well, there’s too much of me on that left side.

I get jealous.  I get frustrated when things are not fair—although my Dad always said, “life isn’t fair”.  I struggle with “Sunday Christians” who succeed, having everything work out in their favor while only tipping Jesus on Sundays with a little time and a $20.

I fight “self”.  I don’t die well.  I don’t always stay dead.  I carry my weighty idols and fight laying them down to run into the arms of Jesus.  There is comfort in "self" sins.

I am proud.  I want to be humble.  I have been humbled.  I see the beauty of humility.  I want to live there . . . but I don’t!  I only visit.

I lie.  I became a habitual liar during and after I was abused as a young teen.  The stronghold has been broken and I rarely lie any more, but I battle the temptation.  Why?  It’s an attack against me from the evil one.  He held me captive there for a long time so he knows it's an area of weakness.  He doesn't play nice—he goes after our weak places.  The temptation is there to save myself, save face, save my reputation—again, pride!  Ugly, ain’t it!

I walk too much in the flesh—the natural man—“unspiritual”.  I want comfort and conformity at times more than I want renewal and restoration in Christ.  I daily—moment by moment—seek to seek Him because I desire death to the flesh.  But, as of today, there is too much flesh living.

I live in disorder.  The word means “instability” and “confusion”.  Yeah . . . I got me some of that.  Not as a whole, but there are spiritual matters that confuse me.  My trust in Jesus is more stable than it has been, but it’s not where I want it to be.  It’s not where He wants it to be. 

I do evil things.  The word evil here means “easy; ordinary; mean; worthless; of no account”.  The word things mean “deeds”.  Do I do some worthless deeds of no good account?  Yep . . . guilty!

Satan would love to pound me with these failures.  And he has been trying that most of today.  

This is why taking our thoughts captive IS CRUCIAL!

However—I’ve. Got. Me. Some. Jesus!!!!  J

"I have been crucified with Christ; and it is no longer I who live, but Christ lives in me; and the life which I now live in the flesh I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave Himself up for me.” 

Galatians 2:20

I live by faith in Jesus!  

He loved me.  

He gave Himself up for me.  

Daily I meet with the Potter.  

Daily He molds me—

shaping me into the vessel He has desired to design me 

since the day His thoughts first thought me!

So I confess . . . I went to my room, kneeled at my bed and repented of the sin of walking in earthly wisdom.  

This wisdom is hard to fight because it comes natural 

and is naturally all around us. 

But God is my Defense.  

Jesus my Savior.  

The Spirit my Counselor, my Guide.

He reveals my sin,

I recognize it—admit and confess,

repent,

receive His forgiveness,

rebuke the evil one,

renew my mind and

request His freely offered gift of True Wisdom.

I walk in newness of life.  

I walk in the opposite direction.  

This is the beauty of repentance!!!

Thank you, Jesus!

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I am joining The Good Morning Girls as we study James together.