Five Minute Friday: Unexpected

Only up since that morning, how could I hope one would come so soon to the feeder when I had rarely seen any visit my yard in the five years it had been mine. 

In my chair by the window, with book in hand I read the words, “You can trust Me, Robin.”  Never is my own name in print.  The sun was beginning to go down as I asked once more for a visitor to the bright red nectar.

My thoughts drifted back to August—and the few days of quiet respite at the lake home of a friend.  I had not expected the new friends I made on the back patio.  Flitting, flirting, flying so close to me and stopping in mid-air to stare me down.  These tiny, playful creations—such a gift to a soul weighed down with overwhelming fear and confusion, to the point where putting the “happy” mask on each morning was becoming effort.  Under more pressure than the heart was created for, joy burst.  They freed sweet joy!

Months and hot, summer days were long gone.  Was I looking for the ridiculous or for a life-line?  Wasn’t I really asking for grace?  He had said I could ask Him anything.  Even for a hummingbird?

I read my name, black on white once more . . . looked up—and saw grace perched on red plastic.

*This is my first attempt at Five Minute Fridays after meeting the lovely, Lisa-Jo at Relevant.  She gives a topic to write on and we are to write, non-stop for 5 minutes with no backtracking or editing.  Wow--was that hard for me!  This was more like 7 minutes because at the end of 5 even I was left hanging! :)  Hope that was okay.*

Seeing Surgery Through His Eyes

I wait at home frying donuts while snow flies and falls outside my kitchen window.

Two women I love more than anything are in different hospitals.  Each 30 minutes from where I wait and rest my mind that has ached since I awoke this morning.

One has loved me as her own since I knew her.

The other has loved me as her own because I am.

Neither needing me this day in the place where they are,

I stay in my place and pray. 

I rest my thoughts on the words set to worship music coming from the other room.  And I ask my Jesus who is always, only good to be patient with me as I look for Him in this day.  So willing He is to give spiritual eyes when I ask to see what I seek in the hard places of hard times—glimpses of Him.

Even I am amazed of the absence of fear.  The one who’s walked deep and dark the caves of depression, despair and doubt.  The one who has known Him long, but not as Protector.  A peace my understanding does not understand, rests on me.  If only this ache and twitchy eye would also.  

I am reminded that not all of me trusts all of Him . . . yet!

Procedures on one body to repair and on the other to explore.

I think of my own soul these past couple years. 

Procedures to repair.  

Procedures to explore.

Restoring my thinking, my reacting, my default response in living abused, wounded and unjustly treated in an unjust world. Researching my heart, my mind, my flesh of all things contrary to Christ that stand in the way of drawing closer to Him, resembling Him.

My life has been full of my own necessary operations.  Specifically cared for by the Great Physician who not only created this clay with my name—but daily presses His image into it. 

Each process painful.  Every one necessary.

Like those for the ones I love today.  Painful, but necessary.

In the days, months, years to come—I have no doubt the surgeries planned for me are many.  I will not fear them.  I rest.  I let go.  Knowing the One in control is the One crafting my snowflakes today—each carefully designed and precisely timed to fall.

Nothing slips through His hands. 

Nothing can reach me that He has not caused or allowed. 

Nothing goes unfiltered. 

Nothing escapes His attention. 

All surgeries of exploration and repair 

have been carefully crafted 

and perfectly timed. 

I rest unburdened. 

I see Him beckon me down the path and believe the difficult worthy. 

I thank Him in advance for Faithful Love that results in my victory. 

I proclaim His glory.

Grace is dependable like that.  He is dependable like that!

I sip my tea, eat a donut, say another prayer & wait for 2 phone calls. 

Already seeing with His eyes what I believe to be . . . 

victory in Jesus for all of us!

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Linked up with . . . A Steady Rain

Wisdom Takes Time (James 3:13)

Am I wise?

I am wiser—

I know more Scripture—

I understand it better—

I walk in Relationship—

but . . .

Do I live differently?  Differently enough?

Does my behavior profess Christ?  Profess enough?

“Who among you is wise and understanding? Let him show by his good behavior his deeds in the gentleness of wisdom.”  James 3:13

Is there a measuring tool for wisdom? 

A measurement for good enough behavior?

I can get really frustrated with myself.  God is teaching me so much and I feel overwhelmed in my attempts to wrap my mind around all the truths within me.

I forget He reveals—His Spirit causes me to understand.  

I want to live it out, now . . . get it all within real deep, today—replacing the junk

  lies I’ve believed

behaviors I’ve adopted

sins I’ve embraced.

To be completely honest, I often feel the hypocrite in this place because I do not readily live all I write and post.  I want to!  I am learning to!  I am growing to become everything He shares with me that I turn and share with you—but the truth of the matter is I have some pretty horrid habits!  Ways of dealing with life and the people in it that is not always Jesus-like!

It takes time to soak out a stain. 

And I am full of stains.  The stain of my sin may be forgiven, but consequences leave their marks.  Soaking in grace, renewing the mind, capturing thoughts, conversing with Jesus are all detergents after the same thing—stain removal! 

Changing this heart of hard, rebellious flesh into moldable, yielding clay the Potter can work with.

It takes time to fashion a vessel.

And I am not the Potter.  As much as I want to “assist” God in His work—it. is. His!  I am only to yield, be guided, and follow—allowing His fingers to glide across my soul gracefully pressing and shaping me into His desired utensil, fit for service.

Building deep trust in any relationship takes building!  It’s a process full of experiences.  It is developed!

It takes time to love deeply.

And love involves listening.  Too often I pray, close with “amen” and walk away.  I must linger.  Waiting for the Lord to respond.  God wants me to hear what He has to say today—from His Word and in our time together.

Growth in the Fruits of the Spirit is not attainable by will and mere effort.  They are evidences of a life transformed.

It takes time to be renewed.

And the process is not mine—obedience is!  For “I have been crucified with Christ; and it is no longer I who live, but Christ lives in me” (Galatians 2:20).  I willfully die to my flesh—moment by moment—until Christ is my life (Colossians 3:4).

My behavior today reveals wisdom I did not understand yesterday.

My behavior tomorrow will reveal understanding I was not wise in today.

I soak

I yield

I listen

I obey

I take the time it takes.

For my time is in His hands! (Psalm 31:15)

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Click here for the other posts from my study of the book of James

I am joining The Good Morning Girls as we study James together. 


Linked up with {Titus 2}sday, Living Well Wednesdays, Works For Me Wednesdays and Far Above Rubies

A Short Note On Grace . . .

The most gracious people I know 

are those most aware of grace! 

We are surrounded by grace. 

Grace has . . . 

. . . kept us

. . . hedged us

. . . grown us

. . . warned us

. . . moved us

. . . allowed us to fall

. . . and caught us when we did. 

Grace is the only reason each one of us is here now in this place 

. . . talking Jesus. 

The woman who lavished Jesus’ feet with her perfume and her tears loved and honored Him more than his dinner host because she was most aware of her need that ushered the grace that redeemed her.  The host didn’t even offer Jesus a basin of water to wash His own feet.  There was no honor—no love—because there was no awareness of need. 

I have needs that can only be filled by an awareness of grace!  Everywhere . . .

All around . . .

In each moment . . .

This morning I found a post-it note in my young daughter's handwriting:

By Grace Alone

I Need

By Grace Alone

Amen

She knows more than her Mama!



New Christians need to learn the true meaning of grace.  

Long time Believers could learn a thing or too also.  

Wounded, damaged, sin-laden lives need to know 

they are welcomed at the feet of Jesus 

. . . just like that woman before them. 

Those who carry the most baggage need to be shown this truth of grace. 

Not judgment!

Not shame!

Not rejection!

Not  from those who claim to carry His name and His cross!

The more I recognize grace, 

the more—I believe—I will be remembered for extending it.

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It Is Well

It is well with my soul, 

because it is well with me and God!

He delights in me!

“The Lord delights in those who fear Him, who put their hope in His unfailing love.” 
Psalm 147:11

I am chosen!

“God has chosen you from the beginning for salvation through sanctification by the Spirit and faith in the truth.”  
2 Thes. 2:13

I am holy!

“For He chose us in Him before the creation of the world to be holy and blameless in His sight.”  
Eph. 1:4

I am dearly loved!  

“Therefore, as God’s chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience.”  
Col. 3:12

I am blessed!

“Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, who has blessed us in the heavenly realms with every spiritual blessing in Christ.”  
Eph. 1:3

My hunger pleases Him!

“Blessed are those who hunger and thirst for righteousness, for they will be filled.”  
Matt. 5:6

My desire to grow pleases Him!

“But grow in the grace and knowledge of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ.”  
2 Peter 3:18

It should be well with my soul—it IS well with my soul—

because God is pleased with me!

Not every day will be happy, 

but every day can be well with my soul!

As I keep coming to Him, as I keep seeking Him—

I am finding my fulfillment in Him!

I am learning to let His pleasure in me be enough!

Not fearing man’s response to me.  Not being crushed by the lack of it.

He is enough!

Learning to consciously take captive all thoughts of failure, of lack.
Learning to not let my day, my circumstance, my need deflate me.
Learning to not let others opinions, judgments, actions define me.
I seek Him—His face—I seek only to please Him, find Him . . . and I will.
—I am!

I rejoice in the days to come, for it is well with my soul!




Is it well with your soul?
Is it well between you and He?
Do you see yourself as Jesus sees you?
Are you in a stuck place?







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The Roller Coaster

The delights, the fears all tangled up in this whirlwind ride we all whip through.  The anticipation of the slow climb—the heights unseen in the day to day.  With a slight pause at the top before the plummet we catch a breath, grip tighter and prepare screams. 

What do you do in that pause?

I feel like I am failing at faith.

I am so weak.  Where is my belief, my trust, my faith in the Faithful one?

No faith is needed when I can see, when I already receive from God in some tangible way.  Grow my faith, Father, to believe in that which is unseen, not yet received!

Truth tells me...

            I have not because I ask not! (James 4:2)

            All things I ask for in believing prayer, I will receive! (Matt. 21:22)

But how often, how much am I to ask?

The widow in Luke 18:1-8 came asking often.  She was in great need and the only one who could help her was unwilling.  She persisted.  The unwilling one relented.  He had all the power but it was her persistence in asking that granted her request.  Now, I know this parable has to do with those being treated unjustly and God granting justice to the pleas of the faithful.  But this is also a beautiful picture of unceasing, believing prayer! (1 Thes. 5:17)

We are to ask and keep asking—for healing, for faith, for trust, for wisdom, for strength, for whatever we have need of or desire rightly.  Ask and keep on asking.

Faith is in the continual asking.  If I didn’t have faith in God, if I didn’t believe in Him—I’d stop asking.

The widow kept asking.  All her pleas were received.  She was not solely heard on the 17^th visit and granted her request.  Her request, her voice was heard each and every time she came before the judge.  She faithfully, repeatedly came to the only one who could help her...who could save her from her situation. 

Do we?  Do we come continually asking, believing—even pleading—to the only One who can help us with our need?  Or do we give up asking and grip a little tighter, believing  “it’s not His will to help me” or “I’m not hearing anything—He remains silent concerning this.”

She. kept. asking!

I learn from our parable widow to keep asking, to keep refuting unbelief and to keep taking lying thoughts captive.  I learn to keep seeking Him, believing Him and professing Him who is the only One able to answer, help and save!

Deep faith—deep roots—are not achieved overnight.  Faith is grown over time living trials and temptations...life experiences and circumstances.

Faith is activated and sustained—by grace. 

Everything is grace!

Grace is what I ask for in the pause at the top of the ride.  That God would grant me a greater outpouring of grace for the falls, twists and turns about to come. 

Knowledge and experience, closeness in relationship gained in the climb to the top get’s my momentum going, for sure.  But it is faith growing grace I need...and gratitude for all the ride brings.

Grace and Gratitude. 

Him and Me. 

“Rejoice always; pray without ceasing; in everything give thanks; for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus.” 1 Thes. 5:16-18

~Repost from the archives, but where my heart is today!~




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No Two Gifts Alike! (James 1:17)

WOW!!!

I am super excited about what I learned today. 

How many times have I read this verse—one I have my children memorize—assuming that I knew the meaning...

“Every good gift and every perfect gift is from above.” James 1:17

First of all, notice the word of absolute used here...twice!  “Every”.  This is VERY important!  Whenever Scripture uses a word of absolute—never, always, all, none, each, etc. pay close attention!  In our own speech we are very careful NOT to use words of absolute.  Remember—never say never! 

Every = each, any, all, the whole...is always from God! 

Gift...

I just figured that the same word was used both times here, but no!  It is not the same Greek word at all!

Let’s look at them in reverse order.

“Every perfect gift...”  The Greek word for gift used here is “dorema” and means exactly what we would think—“the thing given”.  The word perfect is “teleios” and means “wanting nothing necessary to completeness”. 

Okay, pretty straight forward.  Now let’s look at the first part.

“Every good gift...”  The word used here is “dosis” and it is actually referring to “the act of giving”.  The same word is used in Philippians 4:15, “...no church shared with me in the matter of giving and receiving but you alone.”  Good is the word “agathos” and means “excellent; profitable; useful”.

Put it all together and this is what we’ve got!

Every manner in which God gives to us is good—profitable and useful!

Every thing He gives us is complete, lacking nothing!

OR...

Everything God gives me is complete, lacking nothing.

And every manner in which He gives is good for me—profitable and useful!

That is a huge change in perspective for me!

I mean, I know it—I assume it because I know He is only good.  But it is written!  His way to provide for me and supply experiences for my growth is only and every time done in a way that is good.  Even if I “see” the way as hard, painful, unnecessary, or unfair!  What I see “in part” doesn’t seem so good or feel so good—but it IS!  It has to be because He cannot go against His Character! 

Seeing it in the original language here in this verse together—gift & presentation—is powerful!

Not only is every gift from God perfect—

but the way He gives me each gift is too!

Each trial

Each provision

Each wait

Each glory

Each grief

Each victory

Each and every one...is a gift. 

And the way it comes down to me from the Father of lights—Who was never kindled and can never be quenched—is perfect brilliance for me personally!

Wow!

This is grace.  I’m absolutely wrecked for anything less than God’s grace!

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Click here for the other posts from my study of the book of James

I am joining The Good Morning Girls as we study James together.

You Are

You. Are. Loved!

You are deeply, perfectly, intimately loved!

Your worth to Him and to our world is not—nor is it ever—based on your performance or success in it!

You. Are. God’s!  And He adores you!

Do not turn away!  Instead, receive the depth these words convey.  God speaks over you...

Acceptance—for who you are and where you are at.

Devotion—to be all you could ever need or want.

Fulfillment—in all those places of lack needing filled.

Delight—in your voice as it enters His throne room.

Passion—to draw you ever closer to Himself.

Promise—for both sides of eternity—heaven and earth.

He. wants. you!

You are cherished—being His most treasured possession!

When no one else seems to want you or what you have to offer—He does!  He wants everything you’ll give Him. 

You are found in Him in your willingness to be lost.  In losing out on the world, the things of the world—all the cries, the pleas made to your flesh from the world—you are lost to this world and found at His feet.

There is rest for you!  Just in believing His will is good and receiving His words for yourself.  He knows that is what you want.  It is what He wants to give.

Don’t try to make grace happen.  Just rest in Him and believe Him and you will receive.

Trust Him to fill your cup.  Keep it held up.  Discouragement and doubt work to spill the contents.  A shaky hand cannot hold the cup firm.  But when it spills—there is always more to receive.

Do you need more faith?  Or less doubt?

Both!  And as faith grows, doubts diminish.

As you declare more and more—“yes, I believe regardless of what I see!”...the grip of doubt loosens.

And as you see His faithfulness you believe more and doubt less.

Intentionally look for faithfulness—God’s as well as your own.  Look for where He has shown Himself faithful to you.  Look for where you have shown yourself faithful to Him.  Record it. 

Write in a journal your relationship of faithfulness to one another.  If not in pen, in type.

And those days you feel doubt—say out loud, “I trust you, Jesus!”  Speak truth against the lies.  Don’t muster up more strength, don’t fight your way, don’t guilt or shame or beat yourself with the stick of condemnation.  


Tell the world—your self, your circumstance, your adversary—tell them all... “I trust you, Jesus!” 

Then, simply...do the next thing you need to do.  Trusting, believing, refuting, and standing firm in your confession!

“You ARE good, God!  You ARE faithful!  And I WILL trust in you!”

The Only Words That Matter

Father God delights in us and the words our lives write.  Live the words you believe.  Love your words enough to live them.

Trust the One who carves His words on your heart to gather ready listeners.

Your way may be gentle, soft...poetic.  Mine, a bit louder—messier...clumsy... J

What matters most is our tarry with the Author.  Our time spent in the stillness of a quiet place given to listen, die, receive and be renewed.  Our continued abiding while swirling amongst hearts and routines...the world we actively participate in. 

In our words—spoken and not—we reflect.

Our words reflect where our heart abides.

My life is my mouthpiece, as is yours.  My desire is to yield my heart, my time, my space, my choices, my expectations...all that creates my words—to the God of words.  We are not responsible for how the words of our lives are received—only how they are spoken. 

We write our words by living them.  We write on hearts, by impressions, through impact. 

His grace led steps await obedience borne from desire...and trust.

Keep hungering and seeking...He promises to be found. 

Keep writing faithfulness in your living.

The only words that matter are those we live.

I Am A Mess

I don’t love well.  I don’t default to kindness.  I don’t mother great.  I don’t complete my man.  I don’t live in joy.  I don’t serve selflessly.  I don’t believe without doubt.  I don’t pray enough.  I don’t trust enough.  I don’t smile enough.

I. Am. A. Mess!

My kitchen floor is sticky.  My dog needs a bath.  My weeds are taller than my plants.  My desk is in disarray.  My bench is covered in coats.  My floor is littered with shoes.  My dining room table is covered in “stuff”.  My coupons need to be filed to be found.

My. House. Is. A. Mess!

I should have paid my bills on Friday.  I waited until Sunday morning to finish planning my Sunday School lesson.  I have yet to watch that DVD on the next writing assignment for the boys.  I have a 7 year old who should be reading better.  I have a little boy who yells too much.  I am always late most every where, every time. 

My. Responsibilities. Are. A. Mess!

I don’t  take every thought captive.  I hear from God but don’t always do what He asks.  I can be too easily bothered.  I am more selfish than selfless.  I react more often than respond.  I talk more than listen.

I write here the Truth I believe is true—I wish I always lived Truth.

I yield to the flesh.  I enjoy this world.  I allow Satan space.

The truth is...I am a mess!

I am in need of a Savior!

I am at the mercy of grace!

Yesterday

In the span of one hour, my emotions ran the spectrum from grateful exuberance to deep grief. 

My parents had stopped by—no easy feat since they live 2 hours away from us now.  They just called out of the blue and said “we’ll be coming by this afternoon if you’re going to be home...and oh...by the way...what are the measurements for your oven?”  J  Christmas (for the next few years) came early at our house in the form of a beautiful, new Maytag Gemini Range! 

Did I write about how I broke our stovetop a few months ago?  Probably not...definitely not a good day.  Those beautiful ceramic stove-tops—did you know that you could break one?  I didn’t, until I did!  I was pulling a drinking straw out of the jar we keep them in on a high shelf to the right of our stove.  In the process, I inadvertently pulled down a beautiful crystal bowl which landed squarely on top of our stove.  I think it was at least 3 minutes before I moved my body or closed my mouth as I stared at the gaping hole and myriad of cracks that the now destroyed dish left on my stove top. 

We’ve been using (and praying over) the 2 burners with the least amount of cracks while considering what to do—replace the top which costs 2/3rds the price of a new oven or just replace the beast altogether (you see...we’ve never been the best of friends...Mr. G.E. and me!) 

After canning both peaches and applesauce in the most creative of manners I must say—my parents decided they would decide for us and gifted our family with an appliance I never would have ever purchased for myself.  Hence, the grateful exuberance!  For all of us.  My mom was so giddy about giving the gift that she bounced and danced a bit while explaining it to us.  My home was full of laughter, talking, hugs, happy kids, happy Mama and happy grandparents.  We even had happy dogs!  Well, my parents dog was pretty excited to be visiting.  Our old pug doesn’t think much of the young Corgi pup!

As we were heading out the front door just an hour later (as they had a busy evening ahead of them with a long drive to boot) my Dad’s cell phone rang.  It was my aunt.  My parents had just been sharing about their planned trip next week to go with my other aunt and uncle for a visit to my Dad’s youngest brother and his wife.  He has been fighting cancer valiantly for about a year and just a couple weeks ago had been sent home with hospice for what they expected to be approximately 6 months.  The phone call that came yesterday cut that already short sentence down to days. 

I didn’t mean to cry.  I didn’t want to cry.  But sometimes all you can do...is cry.  There are no words to speak.  No thoughts to be shared.  Nothing meaningful to say at a time like that.  Only, “I’m so sorry Dad!” over and over and over again.  We prayed against this day coming and instead for miraculous healing.  God’s desire was not to be the same.

As I looked at my Dad and hugged him, I recalled the first time I had ever seen this man cry.  I was about 16 years old and he was telling us...or trying to tell us really, that his father had cancer.  Now he was shedding tears for his baby brother about to close out his own life to the same disease. 

From pure joy to deep sorrow...in less than an hour! 

The rest of my afternoon was a mix of emotions as I prepared for, received, fought to install and began to use the gift of love that had brought my parents to my home.  My thoughts played pictures in my mind, conversations and experiences with my uncle who's yesterday contained words of finality.

Excitement, joy, gratitude....sorrow, grief, finality.....all ingredients of the same day—the same hour!  We don’t get to choose those ingredients, but we do have a part in choosing how we are prepared to receive them.  With hope or with despair.

I have really struggled with how many things seem to be breaking around here—appliances, vehicles, teeth, relationships and just a wide gamut of “stuff”!  And there has been less than abundant work coming in for my husband’s business.  How I receive all of this is my choice.  In despair or in hope.  I’ll admit I haven’t been faithful to immediately choose the later.  But He gets me there as we meet and talk.

Thinking about my uncle as he nears the end of his life also has me thinking about my own life and what it will be remembered for. 

Yesterday, I wrote this post before any of the above had transpired.  And I realize today as I reread it what ingredients are missing.  What I was trying to understand from God that wasn’t getting understood in my frustration with myself.

Joy steeped in Hope!

That is the foundation of faith and what I want to be remembered for.  A woman who lived joyfully, hopefully, lovingly and therefore...faithfully!

May yesterday be long remembered—for all its ingredients and all grace creates with them!

Oops—I Did It Again!

As I sleepily stumbled to the bathroom during the night, a smile came across my face when I realized...yep—I did it again!  I fell asleep while talking to God.  J

What made me really almost chuckle to myself, however, was not that I had fallen asleep—but that I felt no disappointment, no condemnation because of it.  That may mean nothing to you—but there was a time when this would have greatly saddened me.  My walk with God was more wrapped up in what I did than love for who I was doing it for.

Have you ever been stuck there?  Where everything measureable in your Christian life was taken into account to see how you measured up? 

If there were more in the debit than the credit column—I was feeling pretty good about myself.  However, if the scale tilted the other way at all, I would beat myself with Bible verses and spiritual quotes until I was sufficiently chastised. 

Instead of growing in wisdom—I was completing the current Bible study.

Instead of growing in grace—I was growing in religious practices.

Instead of working out my salvation—I was working myself into a frenzy.

Instead of seeking the One who saves me—I was trying to please Him with my efforts.

Instead of laying myself at the feet of my Savior—I was trying to better myself so He’d be happy with me and leave. me. alone!  Because if I wasn’t causing any trouble for Him in His eyes, then surely He wouldn’t cause any trouble for me in mine!

And you know what...life is in the heart of any living creature—not its form.  And there was no life in this creature—only the form of a religious person who smiled and waved while wearing a mask to conceal the pain, struggle and woundedness deep within.

Until Jesus....

Until one sweet season, only by the grace of the Almighty God, He began to show Me His love!  His love for me; His love for the Body; His love for all mankind.  And I’ve never been the same since.

Now don’t get me wrong—I never thought God harsh.  But I was so focused on trying to please Him by doing well at all the things that “good” Christians did that I missed out on His heart.  I would say with my mouth that He loved us and cared, but felt deep within (without admitting it) that He didn’t really care much at all!  I felt He distanced Himself from me in the midst of my sufferings.

I studied the word fervently, but I didn’t seek His face.

I attended classes on spiritual living, but the information never penetrated my heart.

I took notes at retreats and of sermons, but they remained just ink on a page.

I went to prayer seminars and followed the steps, but never heard a response.

Formulas are rampant in the church—but there is no life in a formula!  No freedom in a list of “to do’s”.  No communicating of honest, raw emotions when a wall could go up at any time because of failure to follow the rules.

But Jesus....  What else can I say...but Jesus! 

God saw my heart aching for intimacy with Him.  He saw that the true desire of my being was to know Him and to not be afraid that He knew me all too well.  Jesus saw the poor girl running around trying to do everything “right” so she could “qualify” for life.  All while dying slowly inside because of loneliness—separated from her Creator. 

But Jesus!

I believe in a holy, unchangeable God who demands a high standard.

I believe holiness keeps to a line that He will not move, nor will He cross.

I believe God is to be reverenced AND feared by all man.

But I also know His heart towards His beloved—I’ve felt His presence, I’ve heard His voice and I’ve been drawn into such sweet communion time and again that my nakedness before Him is never shameful, only freeing!

I spend more time with Him, soaking up the word, sitting under great teaching and in prayer then I ever did before—but it’s out of love and the intense desire to draw even closer.  Not out of duty, fear, or the masquerade. No...I just. want. more!

More wisdom.

More freedom.

More intimacy.

More awe.

More understanding.

More holiness.

More contentment.

More of His likeness.

More compassion.

More joy.

More God!

To fall asleep while praying is to fall asleep in the embrace of the One who loves and desires me daily!  There is no better rest, no sweeter chamber than His arms.  And I plan to fall asleep there again and again!

Nothing taken for granted; 

everything received with gratitude; 

everything passed on with grace.

~G. K. Chesterton~

What's Your Song?

Have you ever asked about your song?  You know—the one that God is singing over you!  Don’t you kind of want to ask and find out?  I mean...really...the God of all the universe is with you, is delighting in you, is loving you and rejoicing over you with singing!!!!  Don’t you want to know what He is singing over you???  I’ll admit I sure do!

“The Lord your God is with you, he is mighty to save.  He will take great delight in you, he will quiet you with his love, he will rejoice over you with singing.”  Zephaniah 3:17

I asked Him once before and heard the song “It is Well” in reply.  At first I thought, how can He be singing this over me?  A little more time spent quietly in His presence and He showed me it was “well with my soul” because it was well between Him and I!  (You can read a little more on that exchange here if you’d like.)

So last night, before going to bed, I took the authority that is mine through Christ Jesus over my thoughts and asked again... “Are you singing over me today?  If so, what song?”

Immediately my mind was flooded with a song I have not heard, sung or even thought of for years!  The chorus of Keith Green’s, “O Lord You’re Beautiful”.   But...the words were changed and I wrote them out in my journal as they sang in my head...

My child...you’re beautiful

Your face is all I see

And when your eyes are on My own

My grace abounds to thee!

(I’ve listed the complete original lyrics to this song at the end if you are unfamiliar with it.)

I just let the words sing over and over and over again before feeling led to write down more thoughts from Him concerning me.

“You are beautiful because you are My daughter and My treasured creation.  Beauty is in all I do.  Beauty and love for all My creation.  My attention is always turned towards you.  Because I love you.  Keep your eyes on Me and My grace will continue to abound in and over your life.”

He is singing over you as well.  In the stillness of your time with Him today, ask Him about your song.  His love for you is not a secret!  Believe in this lavish love and listen for it.

Ask...believing...and you shall receive....

Keith Green—O Lord You’re Beautiful

Oh Lord, You’re Beautiful

Your face is all I see

For when your eyes are on this child

Your grace abounds to me

Oh Lord, Please light the fire

That once burned bright and clean

Replace the lamp of my first love

That burns with holy fear

I want to take your word and shine it all around

But first help me just to live it, Lord

And when I’m doing well, help me to never seek a crown

For my reward is giving glory to you