Needed and Necessary??? Who Me?

When I wrote this post a few weeks ago, it sat in the draft area because I didn’t feel the timing was right to put it up. 

Saturday morning seemed perfect. 

Friday night and all day Saturday, I was one of several speakers sharing at a seminar held at our church.  Part of my speaking time included sharing parts of my testimony.  Let me tell you—that was NOT a comfortable place for me.  Up on the platform of the church sanctuary with microphone in hand was way out of my comfort zone.  I even contemplated not wearing my glasses thinking perhaps it would be easier if all the people’s faces were blurry. J   

Grace came down in buckets and I survived.  I think I was actually understandable in most of what I shared.  Afterwards, I had the privilege to pray with a couple ladies and talked with several others about all things Jesus.  It was a rich weekend!

I came home and read through the notes some of you had sent about what I posted.  After reflecting and smiling a bit I thought, “Only you, Jesus, could ever do anything with the me behind my story!  That in and of itself amazes me!”

Then Sunday came. 

I sat with my girls in Sunday School as we talked through some of their junior high aged questions given to me anonymously the week before.  It was good.  God helps me every Sunday answer questions and respond to statements these sweet, innocent, hurting girls have and I know without a doubt that the Holy Spirit is on the job—because I would fail them every time if I was left on my own.

Here is some of what is coming against my girls and other teens in our church:

* Heavy drinking parents.

* Getting sucked into the “emo” world.

* Eating disorders.
* Pornography. 
* Fears—fear of failure, of man, of rejection, of being the cause of Dad's anger and his leaving.

* In the midst of divorce with the breaking, fighting and crumbling all around.

* Learning to live life not fearing seizures.

* Love-starved=not just boy crazy, but aggressively seeking attention

* Deep-seeded anger that has become rage and bitterness.
* Abuse—emotionally, physically, sexually.
*  Rebellion against authority and contempt—fighting for what they are entitled too.
*  Performing/masquerade/going through the motions.
* Crippled by inadequacy.
* Questioning worthiness.
* Emotional Torments.
* Insecurity.
* Deep father wounds.
* Shame.
* Control.

* The ones we only see occasionally, depending on which parent has them.

* And the quiet ones who concern me because I do not know their story.

Sunday I broke!

We were at the tail end of the Missions potluck {I love potlucks, by-the-way!} and one of my sweetest, quietest girls came over to talk to me.  It wasn’t what she said—or even what she didn’t say.  I can’t explain it, really.  But when she walked away—my heart broke and tears burst.

How can I even begin to love these girls well enough? 

How can I make a difference in their lives?

How can I love away their hurt?

I feel so inadequate!

And you know what . . . all I CAN do is love them. 

I can love them by listening, encouraging, supporting and answering their call for help as best I can by the help and grace of God. 

I can pray for them and trust God to work miracles in their heart, mind, emotions, relationships and day-to-day living.

I can battle for them in the spiritual realm by standing in the gap and rebuking the enemy's attacks against them!

I can be present for them and cheer for each one because they are worthy of being cheered for!!!

I can sacrifice my time, energy, money, focus, talents and ability in the kitchen to assure them they are worth the effort to love on.

I can stop expecting from them 

and fully offer myself to them.

Who needs you today?

What can you do to love some hurting heart well today?

I’d love a few more ideas myself! J

YOU are needed and necessary 

in your sphere of influence! 

YES YOU!!!
and me.

It’s About the Lies

That big fear of mine?  It didn’t just come about as my children came of age!

My fear of failing as a mother grew as they grew.

My fear of failing God in my mothering grew as the evidence stacked against me.

What I have learned of our enemy is that he is not creative—he doesn’t have to be.  He just has to know human nature.  And he does.  He has studied us for years.  He plays off our weaknesses . . . which he’s figured out while watching us be mistreated over the years.  

Sinful people have sinned against us.  

Hurting people have hurt us.

And we've reacted.

He saw this young, naïve, hurting-for-attention girl get duped by a man in spiritual authority over her.  And the spin he fed her thoughts was that she was a failure to God. 

Had he—had anyone—spoken those words to her at the time, she would never have agreed.

“Jesus loves me, this I KNOW!” 

But seeds only grow when they are nurtured.  And there is enough sun, water and fertilizer in this world to give the fields of failure a bumper crop!

And in me—the harvest was bountiful.

“How have I failed Thee . . . let me count the ways!”

At age 13, the field was plowed.

In my 40’s, I discovered the field flourishing.

We can deny we are in a battle all we want.  It does not change the facts.  We are.  In a battle!

The battle is real. 

And it is fierce. 

The costs are high. 

Spoils for either side. 

Souls!

I thought all these insecure thoughts were my own!

Not realizing I had a REAL enemy!  An enemy willing to take advantage of my hurt!

I believe now the lie he fed me then was, “You failed God.”

And as I grew older the lie grew with me to, “You will always fail God!”

Every time I did something wrong, or said something dumb, or didn’t accomplish something expected, or made a disaster of something—that failure got filed in the box labeled with the original lie.

Time goes by.  Years accumulate.  Failures rise.

Babies are born.  Children grow.  Young adults now stand before me.

And I realize my fear has frozen me.

Can there be enough grace to save the children of such a failure like me?

How could I imagine raising godly children for the Kingdom?

How could I ever foster a close-knit, loving home?

How could I hope to ever win my children’s hearts to myself—let alone God???

I am a failure to God!

I will surely fail at the biggest task He could ever ask me to do!

So the lie goes . . . Until . . . 

The darkness collides with Light.  

The lie exposed.  

The access point revealed.  

The repentance of sins and renouncing of untruths.

Not only is the forgiveness sweet, but something big implodes within!

Satan’s control.

His lies are the epicenter of his control within our soul—our minds, wills and emotions!

When Satan's lies are exposed, 

his power over us implodes!

So what lies have you believed?

What version of the truth has our enemy fed you?

What hurt from long ago could have given access to thoughts now tormenting you?

Maybe today is the day to ask, seek and knock!

Maybe today is your day for the chains to fall free!

I Have a Fear—A Deep Fear of Failing as a Mom!

I fear I have or I will fail my children.

I fear I have or I will fail God in raising them.

I fear—

What I do or don’t do . . .

What I say or don’t say . . .

What I allow or don’t allow . . .
I fear—

If the “whatever” is not received well by them that in rejecting me, my advice, my council, or my perspective of what is “best for them” . . . 

I fear they will reject God.

I fear they will reject God and it will be because of my failure to mother them well. 

However “well” looks for each of them as individuals.

This is fresh revelation, but I have seen its evidence.

There are so many things in this life that just. don’t. matter!

Loving my children well is not one of them.

I am crazy gone over my kids!

As much as I’d like to take their choice away, I can’t!

Just as grace drew me to my knees as a 20-something, tired-out, masquerading, Christ-following fake . . . 

so grace must draw each one of them.

How I wish I had control!

But I don’t.

All I can do is— 

love them,

pray for them,

discipline them,

while discipling them

the best I can with— 

what they will receive, 

what they will listen to, 

with only the wisdom & understanding grace has gifted up to today.

No one can go back.

There are no do-over’s in parenting.

Regret threatens to devour my sanity!

As I cling to my Redeemer—

He loves, 

He prays, 

He disciplines, 

and He disciples me 

all the while redeeming— 

my mistakes, 

my sins, 

my poor choices, 

my “woulda-coulda-shoulda’s” 

and “if only’s”.

Nothing escapes Him.

Nothing is unredeemable for Him.

Nothing reaches beyond His touch.

Fear cannot coincide with Christ! 

So I repent and let healing waters of forgiveness rush my soul.

This freedom of forgiveness deepens trust.

Only He can save.

I cannot.

I can release!

I can trust!

I can pray!

I can rebuke!

I can battle!

I can encourage!

I can challenge!

I can correct!

I can question!
I can love!

I can Mother my best and trust God for the rest—cheesy, but truth!

"Thank you, Jesus, that fear is not my destiny—only my chains.  It was for freedom that You came—for me as well as for my children.  In the power and authority of your name and in your blood, please break these chains threatening to overtake my joy, my hope . . . my peace.  You love them so much more than I.  You love perfect.  Thank you for perfect love casting out all fear!  You know my hopes, my dreams, my prayers for them—and I know they are safe within Your care.  Abba, I love you!  Abba, I belong to you!  Abba, I trust you!  Abba, You are enough!  In this.  In everything.  You are enough!  Amen."

Do you have a fear threatening your faith today?




{Continued in this post on how Satan feeds our thoughts lies . . .}

My Prayer Daily

Lord,
I give you this entire day.

I ask that you lead me in all areas of my life.

Give me patience, wisdom and understanding.

Remind me to be sweet to my family.

Teach us all that you would, Lord.

I pray that my life would be a sweet aroma sacrificed to you today, bringing you Glory—

Amen

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The Silence

In contrast to The Shouts, is His silence.

“He was oppressed and He was afflicted, yet He did not open His mouth; Like a lamb that is led to slaughter, and like a sheep that is silent before its shearers, so He did not open His mouth.” 
Isaiah 53:7

As it was foretold in Isaiah, so it was.

The Lamb was silent.


“The high priest stood up and said to Him, ‘Do You make no answer? What is it that these men are testifying against You?’ But Jesus kept silent.” Matthew 26:62-63

“And while He was being accused by the chief priests and elders, He made no answer. Then Pilate said to Him, ‘Do You not hear how many things they testify against You?’ And He did not answer him with regard to even a single charge, so that the governor was quite amazed.” Matthew 27:12-14

Jesus came before Herod and “he questioned Him at some length, but without getting any reply.” Luke 23:9


Mocked, insulted, stripped, beaten, scourged, spat upon

—yet He remained silent.

Jesus . . . with torn, punctured skin . . .

blood caked with dirt on body

crowned halo of piercing spikes

beaten, spent body taking wooden beams upon wearied shoulders

human frailty failing, struggling up Hill

pushed, thrown, tied, nailed, lifted up, falling, until jolted into place

continued mocking, casting of lots, offer of vinegar

pierced side, flowing blood.

Silence


The only exceptions. . .

to show compassion for a thief

concern for a mother

to call upon God—“Eli, Eli, lama sabachthani?”

(My God, my God, why have you forsaken me?)

and final cry—"It is finished!"

Jesus made His last appeal for relief His final night of freedom. Before the shouts of the people had turned from those of “hosanna” to “crucify”, He met with God in the garden. With excruciating emotion, Jesus sought for a change in plans. Asking “if it is possible, let this cup pass me by. Nevertheless, let it be as you, not I, would have it.” (Matthew 26:39)

Three times He asked. Three times He stated “Thy will be done”.

No change was made.
The Father’s will remained.
The Son’s sacrifice complete

—willfully and silently for there were no more words to be offered. 

No requests, appeals or defense on His behalf.

He sacrificed Himself to His Father, for us, in silence.

My words, my heart desires to be lifted up to Him sacrificially. I trust that the will of God for my life is “good and well-pleasing and perfect.” (Romans 12:1-2)

But oh, how I can whine and complain. 

I struggle to hold on to my rights.

Jesus did not resist the will of the Father. He surrendered to it. (John 6:38)


To be like Jesus.

To surrender to humility, meekness, gentleness and kindness. 
To remain silent and allow brokenness to come. 
To trust Him enough to rest quietly in the midst of any storm.  
To not pick up offense when unjustly treated.

That is what God desires.
That is what Jesus exampled.
That is why brokenness is necessary.

Silence is not the way of the world. It is the way of the Lamb.

1 Peter 2:20-24
For what credit is there if, when you sin and are harshly treated, you endure it with patience? But if when you do what is right and suffer for it you patiently endure it, this finds favor with God. For you have been called for this purpose, since Christ also suffered for you, leaving you an example for you to follow in His steps, who committed no sin, nor was any deceit found in His mouth; and while being reviled, He did not revile in return; while suffering, He uttered no threats, but kept entrusting Himself to Him who judges righteously; and He Himself bore our sins in His body on the cross, so that we might die to sin and live to righteousness; for by His wounds you were healed.


So grateful, beyond words, for this Easter season. For the Spirit directing my attention to the shouts of the people. For eyes opened to the silence of the Lamb. Heart is illumined, desiring not only this awareness of these truths but change as a result. Small snippets of revelation. Thank you, Father God, for these irreplaceable encounters with You! Amen...








{edited from the archives, as I spend my week quiet with Jesus}

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The Shouts ~ Part 3

My thoughts wonder now if it was difficult for the chief priests and elders to persuade the crowd to demand the release of Barabbas. I wonder now if it was difficult at all for these same leaders to stir up the crowd to “shout all the louder, ‘Let Him be crucified!’” (Matthew 27:23b).

What a difference in the shouts! 

On Sunday they shouted “Hosanna”! 

On Friday they shouted “crucify”!

And there was one final shout to be made . . .

“Pilate saw that he was making no impression, that in fact a riot was imminent. So he took some water, washed his hands in front of the crowds and said, ‘I am innocent of this man’s blood. It is your concern.’ And the people, every one of them, shouted back, ‘Let his blood be on us and on our children!’ Then he released Barabbas for them. After having Jesus scourged he handed him over to be crucified.” (Matthew 27:24-26)

What a difference in shouts!

They had the right man, but they stopped believing in Him and angrily turned on Him when He failed to live up to their expectations!

What about us?  What about the crowds who follow Him today?

What happens when He fails to live up to our expectations?

Do we only praise God when we see Him at work in our lives?
When He relieves our oppressions and all is well in our world?

We shout “Hosanna’s” when needs are provided for, when things are nice, neat, orderly and relationships give no grief. But what happens when life gets hard, unpredictable and even messy? What happens when a job is lost, the creditors won’t stop calling, a bad medical report is received, a loved one dies, a spouse breaks a promise, or a child breaks a heart?

Do we stop believing and turn from Him?

Do shouts of praise turn silent

—or worse—

do they turn to words of 

anger and dejection?

God cannot be boxed. There is much we can know by knowing His word. We can trust Him explicitly. But His ways of doing things, His sovereign will, will not always make sense to us. It will not always be what we expect.

Oh Father God, may my shouts consistently be of love and praise to You and to the One who saves me! Regardless of my hopes, my dreams and my expectations of how my life should live, I pray that you would hear only my words of adoration and gratitude falling on Your ear! As I grapple with my thoughts this week—this Holy Week—as I struggle to understand how the shouts could change so significantly from Sunday to Friday, Father don’t let me forget the truth of it all. They did change THAT fast! They can change that fast today, with me, if I allow myself to take my eyes off of You. If I stop trusting in Your good intent for my life! If I stop looking for Your sovereign will to be done and not my own. My life has great purpose. You would not have taken the time to form me in the womb. You would not continue to mold and make me, if that were not the case. I am deeply desired and loved by You! The beginning, middle and ends of my life may not always look—be—the way I envision or even desire. Father, I lay down all of my expectations of You at the foot of the cross of Christ! Father, I lay down all of my perceived rights to have the life I envision for myself at the foot of the cross of Christ! Your ways are not my ways, Your thoughts are not my thoughts—Your ways are higher, wiser, more complete and more completely for my good and for Your glory. I choose this day to trust You completely with the direction in which you take this life of mine. I give it to you completely and willingly, with all my heart! I pray that all of my shouts, from today and into eternity, only be shouts of Hosanna—Holy is the Lord God Almighty! Amen!






The Shouts ~ Part 1
The Shouts ~ Part 2






{edited from the archives, as I spend my week quiet with Jesus}

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Is My Religion Worthless? (James 1:26)

“If anyone thinks himself to be religious and yet does not bridle his tongue but deceives his own heart, this man’s religion is worthless.”

How many times has my unchecked, unrestrained tongue flew? 

Especially in the home? 

“May the words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart be acceptable in your sight, O Lord, my Rock and my Redeemer.”  Psalm 19:14

Out of the mouth, the heart speaks!

Is my heart still so lazy—selfish—easily bothered—easily offended—holding to rights . . . sinful???

When I don’t lead my tongue, I cheat my heart.

When I don’t clean my heart, I unbridle my tongue.

My diligence in outward acts of service to God—as well as any inward spiritual disciplines—are absolutely worthless if the words that cross my tongue, spew from my heart . . . self and not Savior!

All my encouragement, sermon-ettes, training up and discipling in the ways of Jesus are lost on the ears of my children when my tongue goes unchecked at other times.

Worthless . . .
Leading to no object or end, especially that end being God. 

It is building houses on sand . . .

                        . . . chasing the wind

                                    . . . shooting at stars

                                                . . . pursuing ones own shadow

Oh Abba . . . I am a woman of unclean lips speaking from an unclean heart.  Cleanse me from all my sin that misrepresents you!  Create in me a clean heart—wholly and acceptable to you, O God!  May your testimony no longer be defiled because of me.  Thank you for pricking my heart this morning!  Thank you for forgiveness!  Thank you for the cross!  Thank you for loving greatly and desiring holiness in the place your Spirit resides within me.  Continue to work on this flesh—pressing the image of your Son more firmly in this clay with my name.  I yield to you.  I love you!  Amen.

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Click here for the other posts from my study of the book of James

I am joining The Good Morning Girls as we study James together.

Joining . . .
Raising Homemakers

God Alone Sanctifies

Today I am restless.

I shake the branches looking for fruit.

In the quiet of our time together, I hear Him ask...

“Do you trust Me?  

Really trust Me?”

I think I do.  I believe I do.  I want to!

“Then feed My sheep!  What you know.  What you understand.  In what you have to offer—feed My sheep.”

So many mother better than I.

So many homeschool better than I.
So many homemake better than I.

So many disciple better than I.

So many “train up” better than I.

So many write better than I.

It is difficult to lie down and rest at His feet when my heart is frantic.

Shortcomings shout over His still small voice.

“In and out of your home feed others with blessings, love, encouragement and acceptance for where they are right now.  Feed words of life.  Feed them in prayer.  Make much of Me.  Whatever is good that you have to offer...feed them!  Then let me do the rest in hearts and minds”

You equip me, Lord.  Perfectly!  Where I fall short in my eyes is where You have chosen to not equip me more.

Not all consequences are my responsibility. 

Not all things are contingent upon human hands involvement.

Some things are meant for God alone 

and sanctification of the heart.

So I pray!  I pray for those I love.  I pray great things be done—for great things He hath done!

Much more is accomplished in my prayers than I could possibly know.

Thank you, Father!


What are you feeling restless about today?  What shortcomings are you concerned about?  You have been fully equipped for all He has called you to do!  Are you believing that today?  Are there hearts that concern you that you need to release to God's care and prayer?






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Linked up with Far Above Rubies ,  Women Living Well, We Are That Family, A Steady Rain, Raising Homemakers ... 
and

What Can I Do?

The end of the year is usually a time of reflection for us.  Today I am reflecting on loved ones in my life who are either making bad choices, different choices from what I would make (gasp!)...and those deliberately choosing to ignore God.

This is one area in particular that I lack faithfulness—believing and praying for salvation, as well as continuing salvation, for all who are dear to me!  And for others I do not even know!

All are precious to God.

All are desired by Him.

All are wanted in His Kingdom.

I should be more willing to give of my time to pray for the salvation of the lost and the dying...the sick and the hungry—physically, yes!—but even more so, spiritually. 

Give myself away like Jesus did! 

Live like Jesus did!

So I ask Him, “What can I do?”

Love them—unconditionally...no strings attached!

Pray for them—regularly, unceasingly, deliberately!

Support them—even if I can’t support their decisions!

Encourage them—speak words of blessing (not spiritual platitudes) over them!

Never give up on them—regardless of what I see!

                                               ...all the while, believing!

Don’t give in to discouragement and fear.  Satan’s tactics against us are not new, but they are debilitating.  Believe God is for you and for them!  He has great purposes in store for each of us.  Pray hard and fervently that they may be realized!

Prayer instigates action!  God has designed it that way.  Prayer causes movement—in both the physical and spiritual realms! 

Pray!  Never cease!

And never cease to believe!

Praying Scripture

Father,

I commit (entrusting everything to your control and guidance)

my day to You.

I trust also in You

and You shall bring my righteousness (in character and conduct)

to pass.            

Psalm 37:5

You will instruct me

and teach me in the way I should go.

You will guide me with Your eye.     

You will give me the desires of my heart,

because I have delighted myself in You.        

Psalm 32:8; Psalm 37:4

I will be kept in perfect peace today,

for I have chosen

to let my mind be “stayed” on You.               

Make peace a reality

          in my life

                   as I trust in You.

Isaiah 26:3

Father, I will walk in good health and strength

as my day demands.               

I take authority over Satan.

He will not steal

                       or rob

                                or destroy me any more.                     

Satan will not harass me,

for I am the righteousness of God

through Jesus Christ, my Lord and Savior.               

Deut. 33:25; Luke 15:17-19; 2 Cor. 5:21

I thank You for sending angels

to prepare the way for me.                  

I thank you for favor for each hour’s appointment.

I thank you that I can choose LIFE and LOVE

         and not death and sin.                        

I thank You for the armor I have on

         to protect me,                                      

and I thank You that I am covered by the blood.      

Ex. 23:20; Joshua 24:15; Eph. 6:10-17; 1 John 1:7

Father,

I thank You that

I walk in newness of life                     

this day.

Romans 6:4

Amen!

Joy!

Will I be remembered for Joy?  Will you?

I want to live joyfully, hopefully, lovingly, faithfully!  Just for myself!!!  But I know too that the joy of the Lord permeates the air around a joy-filled person like a sweet smelling, intoxicating fragrance.

I want to rest in joy, live in joy, pursue in joy, encourage in joy, grieve in joy....  Let joy so overtake me that misery cannot stand a chance.

So how do we frustrate the enemy’s attempts to rob us of our joy?

Delight in life!

Delight in God!

Delight in those around us!

Delight in being!

Rejoice in every thing!

Rejoice in all things!

Rejoice in our calling!

Rejoice in our hope!

In our day in and day out regimen of routine, joy needs to be our pinnacle foundation.  The root that grows down deep and holds us steadfast in the worst of storms.  The joy of the Lord truly is our strength!

Joy is intoxicating!

Make others drunk around you by your infectious resolve to maintain a true spirit of joy regardless of what this world throws at you.  One who trusts in God—really trusts Him—can remain in joy regardless of any situation.  Ahh...tough to picture in me now, but true!

Joy was not designed to be dependant upon circumstance.  That is happiness.  “Happy” comes from the root word “happenstance”.  True joy is not fakey, calloused, lovelessness wearing a smile.  Joy is hope (confident expectation of God’s goodness) realized down to one’s core...the soul.

When our hope in God through Jesus Christ resides steadfast down deep—our lives, our messages and our ministries will explode!  With God’s kind of joy, firmly planted in hope, established with trust.

I will never have a powerful testimony until I resist the evil one’s attempts and ability to bring me down emotionally.  Being easily swayed by circumstance does not entice any one! 

There is nothing victorious about joylessness!

Dear God—I pray that joy would so envelop me that I would...

Be joy to a joyless people!

Be light to a dying world!

Be hope to the hurt and sorrowful!

Be Jesus’ joy to whomever I come in contact with!

I cannot be full of joy if I am full of self.  Selfishness, self focus, self pity do not mix with Jesus and, therefore, cannot mix with joy.  It’s one or the other...and it’s my choice! 

Help me to replace wrong thought patterns with joy!  

Help me to replace wrong attitudes with joy! 

Help me to replace discontent and ingratitude with joy! 

Help me to replace all that robs me with the lavishness of joy!

By your grace through the Holy Spirit within...Amen!

"She opens her mouth with wisdom

and on her tongue is the law of kindness."

Proverbs 31:26

God—I want to be a woman with wisdom and kindness on my tongue!  Work in me so that this is my reality!  I know it won’t come about accidentally.  It is a heart calling born from having the work of Christ’s liberty upon me!  I have been given so much!  May I crave opportunities to show your kindness!  Amen! 

Father...

I drop those things I grasp in my hand and place My hands in Yours.

 I pull my eyes from those things I hold precious and turn my gaze towards Your glory.

I release my affections from others, from acceptance, so my heart is free to seek You without distraction.

For when you are more precious than all else, more real to me than all else and when I love You more than any other—then shall I know complete satisfaction.

Not that You desire I be stripped of earthly pleasures, but that the wellspring of blessings called peace, hope and joy may flow.

For only when seeking first the Kingdom of Heaven—in giving wholly my hearts affections—shall You meet every need, heal every pain, nurture every seedling, water every desert!

I have Your promise that when I seek I shall find; and Your promises are sure...they shall never pass away.

Soli Deo Gloria!

Seeking First His Kingdom

There is something I’d like to have happen.  Um....let me rephrase that a bit.  There is something I really, really, really, really want!!!  Ever been there? J  The trouble is I can’t make it happen on my own.  I’m not in a position to just have what I want.  And you know what?  I’m learning that’s a good place to be. 

How often do we just see or desire some stuff, some trip, some fantasy, some temptation, some very good “thing” and we just go after it—we get it because we can.  So many times in my own life I’ve learned later that the “thing” I wanted so badly was not what was best for me.  And we’ve all had the letdown experience after getting something we thought would bring us great joy or fulfillment. Left instead is disappointment with a new hole to fill.

You know that little verse about taking every thought captive to Christ (2 Cor. 10:5)?  Well, I’ve started implementing it in several sideline areas of my thought life and it’s amazing the results I have experienced.  

Take every thought captive.

Take every dollar captive.

Take every attitude captive.

Take every offense ready to be picked up captive.

Take every fear captive.

Take every regret captive.

Take every response on the tip of my tongue captive.

Take every room captive. (Sorry...got a little off track—I’ve been de-cluttering around here. J)

This has been working great in my life!  Up until yesterday...when this new, wonderful opportunity took over my brain and consumed my thoughts. J  It’s not a bad thing.  That would be easier for me to deal with.  No, this is a very, very good thing that I believe would be so beneficial and I just want it bad enough that I want God to want it bad enough for me, you know?

While talking to Him about this last night He reminded me, “But seek first His kingdom and His righteousness, and all these things will be added to you” Matthew 6:33.  With “these things” referring to that which we need.

So while I pray and ask God to move in BIG ways for my life, I keep my eyes on Him.  Not on what I want, not my situation, not my circumstance—Him!  I keep knowing that He is good and loves me perfectly.  I keep resting in the fact that He is in control and what He wants me to have and what He wants me to experience, I will!  I keep looking to please Him and not self.  I keep on focusing my thoughts, time, actions, money and priorities on Him.  I keep believing that He is for me and will only allow that which is best for me to come my way.

My eyes see dimly (the pretty, flashy, “want me” stuff), His eyes see clearly (the “this is best for my child, so I’ll go with this” stuff). 

God will decide if this that I want is best for me and if now is the time.  I’ll keep asking.  Asking is fine and wanting what I see as good for my life is fine.  As long as I allow all of it to filter though Him without being angry, hurt or upset with the result. 

So, I’ll have to wait and see.  But I wait knowing He will only allow that which is good and right for my life to come to me.  That is what I truly want.  God knows that I do. 

That is seeking first His Kingdom.  This is what pleases Him!