Five Minute Friday: Unexpected

Only up since that morning, how could I hope one would come so soon to the feeder when I had rarely seen any visit my yard in the five years it had been mine. 

In my chair by the window, with book in hand I read the words, “You can trust Me, Robin.”  Never is my own name in print.  The sun was beginning to go down as I asked once more for a visitor to the bright red nectar.

My thoughts drifted back to August—and the few days of quiet respite at the lake home of a friend.  I had not expected the new friends I made on the back patio.  Flitting, flirting, flying so close to me and stopping in mid-air to stare me down.  These tiny, playful creations—such a gift to a soul weighed down with overwhelming fear and confusion, to the point where putting the “happy” mask on each morning was becoming effort.  Under more pressure than the heart was created for, joy burst.  They freed sweet joy!

Months and hot, summer days were long gone.  Was I looking for the ridiculous or for a life-line?  Wasn’t I really asking for grace?  He had said I could ask Him anything.  Even for a hummingbird?

I read my name, black on white once more . . . looked up—and saw grace perched on red plastic.

*This is my first attempt at Five Minute Fridays after meeting the lovely, Lisa-Jo at Relevant.  She gives a topic to write on and we are to write, non-stop for 5 minutes with no backtracking or editing.  Wow--was that hard for me!  This was more like 7 minutes because at the end of 5 even I was left hanging! :)  Hope that was okay.*

Compassion Bloggers-Ecuador 2011

The Relevant Conference ended with the hilarious Shaun Groves moving us from laughter to tears as he sang poignant lyrics and told stories with heart impact.  Shaun is a spokesman for the wonderful organization Compassion.

I brought his newest CD home and have been playing it pretty non-stop.  While visiting one country with Compassion, he was so moved by what the pastor was sharing with him that he wanted to do something, anything, to help.  He offered boxes of CD's by himself and all his music buddies.  The pastor kindly smiled at him and said that although his offer was generous and his music beautiful, our songs--the music we know and listen to--was not the life they knew and lived {or something like that}.  I wasn't taking notes, but I remember being so taken by the words he shared.  Although the pastor appreciated this American musicians kind offer---his music, his words did not and could not reflect the lives he and his people lived.  

I know not what life is like for the poor of this world!

So Shaun penned these powerful words from what he has seen and experienced . . .

Third World Symphony

Right now, Shaun and some lovely bloggers are in Ecuador with Compassion.  Won't you join me in following the stories of their trip in pictures, videos and words?

My Hope Is In You by Aaron Shust

One surprise treat at the Relevant Conference came when Aaron Shust and his wife joined us for lunch one day.  Aaron sang this song following the moving testimony of his wife on how they almost lost their small son to illness.



God is our hope!
Our only true, abiding, constant care.

He promises good!
I'm looking for the good promised me today.
It is here!  
Past all I see with the natural eye—

within the hard, 

the sad, 

the struggle, 

the insecurity,

the confusion,

the doubt, 

the regret . . .

I find His good in the thumbprint of Jesus's image on my soul.

What's the good He's working in your life today?
How is the image of Christ being pressed into your clay?

His Desire vs. My Comfort—Relevant ‘11

How about some more honesty . . . {not like I practice lying here or nuthin’! J}

God loves it when we Sisters are open with one another—honest, transparent . . . vulnerable!  But those are usually the furthest comforts away in our comfort-zone.

That is, however, how this little corner of my world got started.

Several friends and I were part of a yahoo group where we shared with each other some of the moments from our day where we verifiably caught Jesus.  We would write a little something explaining what was going on and how God showed up.  We all passionately loved Jesus and wanted to consciously STOP in our day and take notice whenever we saw God in the moment with us.

After awhile, I seemed to be the only one who was writing.  A couple of these friends encouraged me to start a blog.  I had never heard the word before!  I talked with God about it and waited while He amazingly put confirmations in my heart and by other means.  It’s funny when I look back on that memory now.  I was so excited about something I knew nothing about!

From the beginning, the vulnerability to write what was going on in my life was difficult.  Over time, I had grown quite private.  I held my stories to myself.  To share with a group of 20 or so gals in a secure corner of Yahoo was one thing!  To openly share with whoever happened to come along on the world-wide web was very much another.

I know this is getting long, but hang with me . . . I really am going somewhere with this! J

What has evolved over time has been an openness to share my struggles and what I am learning as I walk with Jesus, but I have neglected to include the road conditions we are walking on!

I am an imperfect, sinful, hurting person living with seven six other {oops . . . that’s right, my sweet oldest moved out!} imperfect, sinful, hurting people.  I’m attached to many others through family, church, ministry, Facebook, Homeschool Co-op and run-ins at the neighborhood grocery store and YMCA.

Life is hard and we are busy. 

Injustices assault us. 

Satan lies and lures.

And we are dust in need of a Savior.

I have been writing about what happens between that Savior and I when bumps happen in the road, when it gets stormy or when the road seems washed out completely.  But I haven’t done a very faithful job of including you in on the action behind the quiet with God.

There’s a fine line to this.  Those handsome teenage boys of mine do not want their names scratched in this place as part of one of mom’s posts! 

But I want to find that line.

I think we both need me to!

I need to become a better storyteller! 

The telling of the end result means less when you don’t know how the story begins.  

Sometimes I will only be able to jump in during the unfolding—

whatever is best for all.  

But I need to start practicing.

• I have not been comfortable writing much concerning my husband’s recent stroke. 
• I opened up a little when I suffered my second miscarriage.  I was unconscious at the time and just wrote.  As I woke up, I closed up.  I’ll need to watch for that again.
• I shared some of "my journey from ruins” but, again, grew uncomfortable and stopped. 
• I have wanted to ask questions of you—to include you in our conversation.  Friends can only become when there is equal dialogue!  But my fear of silence following the question mark has caused me not to ask.

Transparency in my walk with Jesus has become easier for me. 

The vulnerability to openly share the pits and stumbles along the way has not. 

All parts of each one’s story is important. 

I want to know some of yours. 

And I need to share more of mine so we all feel safe in this place.

Some reflections following my week at The Relevant Conference 2011
His Desire vs. My Expectations
His Desire vs. My Agenda
His Desire vs. My Comfort

His Desire vs. My Agenda—Relevant '11

I want to spend some time being completely honest.

I am holy, chosen, and dearly loved.
I am also weak, sin filled, and self-centered.

When I left for the Relevant Conference last week, I had high hopes of meeting fellow bloggers with the intent to build relationships.  I have been writing in this place for 3 ½ years now, but have not really done anything to promote or grow the readership of the blog.  I saw Relevant as God’s open door to doing so. 

Problem was, I never asked God how He felt about that. 

I went to Relevant knowing that a lot of the ladies already knew one another and had been growing relationships online.  No imagination could prepare me for the giggling and cackling, the screaming and embracing that accompanied that first evening together. J

I was out of the loop and definitely felt it.

No connections and no voice in a gathering filled with boisterous reunions.

What I was looking for, in some ways, the conference could have delivered . . . but it was not what God wants me focused on.  I already knew that!  But I chose to ignore it.

I guess I was hoping to grow my blog’s exposure by exposing my wonderful self J—

{Yep, pretty ugly huh!}

God wanted to save me from that . . . so He quieted me. 

I could not over talk when I could barely speak. 

I could not exalt me when I could hardly chit chat!

I wanted the most for my blog out of this expensive, mostly paid-for-by-others trip.  My expectation was that God wanted the same since it was He that had made it possible for me to be there and repeatedly told me to go.  Yet, I failed to ask Him ahead of time to lead and bless and reveal His desires for my time on the trip and my learning.

I went with my own agenda and then felt sorry for myself when I realized things would not happen as I had planned.

I have been so tired of “hard” over these past few years.  And then something I had expected to be glorious, a bit of a “time-out” from the difficulty of the past couple of months, seemed to turn on me.

The truth is . . . 
I’m tired.  
I’m sad.  
I’m trusting.  
I’m believing.  
I’m growing.  
I’m hurting.  
I’m hoping.  
And I so desperately wanted Relevant to take away some of the hurt, fix some of the brokenness and shore up some of the weakened places.

What a bit of pressure for those three young ladies in charge! J

Our God is a jealous and protective God!  

He protected me from my self and jealously remains 

the only One who can gain credit for what He is doing 

in this selfish, sinful heart of mine.

“And He has said to me, ‘My grace is sufficient for you, for power is perfected in weakness.’  Most gladly, therefore, I will rather boast about my weaknesses, that the power of Christ may dwell in me.  Therefore I am well content with weaknesses, with insults, with distresses, with persecutions, with difficulties, for Christ’s sake; for when I am weak, then I am strong.” 
2 Cor. 12: 9, 10

Some reflections following my week at The Relevant Conference 2011
His Desire vs. My Expectations
His Desire vs. My Agenda
His Desire vs. My Comfort

His Desire vs. My Expectations—Relevant '11

In front of me rests my journal.  The lavishly scrolled cover imprinted with this Psalm, “Take delight in the Lord, and He will give you the desires of your heart.” 

Desires are not expectations.

Oh, how often I forget!

For five days this past week I left my family, my home, my routine,  and my schedules to gather with a couple hundred ladies doing the same.  We met in lovely Harrisburg, Pennsylvania.  {At least I am supposing it was lovely.  God’s creations are.  But I didn’t see much past the view from the Sheraton and the quick drive to and from the airport—made quicker by the hotel’s crazy shuttle driver!}.

I was blessed to be a part of Relevant ’11.

Blessed to meet the loveliest of ladies!

Blessed to hear wonderful, thought-provoking messages!

Blessed to experience sweet moments!

I packed my bags, my hopes and my expectations.  And along the way (between Seattle and Chicago, to be exact) I lost my voice.  All of it pretty much gone. 

For the next couple of days I battled my voice, my necessity, my self—

all while mourning the lost experience I had believed 
Relevant would be for me.

Not simply because I had lost my voice.  

But simply because I allowed my deepest, truest desires 

to be overshadowed by what I thought 

and what I wanted.

Sweet time with the Lord since has revealed too much to share in one post today.  But one thing is for certain—

His desires for us will always exceed our expectations

while rarely looking anything like them!

I hope you will come visit in the days to come as I re-visit the relevance of my Relevant experience . . . especially those of you who have been visiting here for awhile now.  There are some things I’d particularly like to share with you.

Unfortunately, it will have to be without pictures! L  I remembered everything I needed to take with me except my camera! (Well—that and my tweezers, but I think I was the only one bothered by that pokey little chin hair!)

Thank you for those who prayed for me and my trip. 

God was listening and I am deeply blessed!

Some reflections following my week at The Relevant Conference 2011
His Desire vs. My Expectations
His Desire vs. My Agenda
His Desire vs. My Comfort

Keep Your Soul From Trouble

About 5 years ago, while laying in bed trying to fall asleep, this random thought came loudly and with authority—literally taking my breath away—seizing me in panic!

“You are going to die young!”

For days I walked in a stupor.  I had no idea what to make of it, nor what to do with it.

This was before I learned to practice the teaching from scripture, “resist {rebuke} the devil and he will flee from you”.  This was also before I fully understood that Satan feeds thoughts into our minds. 

For a long time, I wondered if it had been God speaking.  Was He warning me I had little time?  Why would He say it in such a way to invoke all kinds of fear?  Was it God or me or my enemy taking advantage of me?  I have since worked through that event and found peace. 

And then when I read this devotional entry* for September 22^nd I about leapt off the couch!

“He who guards his mouth and his tongue, guards his soul from troubles.”  Proverbs 21:23

Many people have trouble in their soul, which includes the mind, will, and emotions.  But God gives the answer right here.

We’ve all dealt with doubts and fears at one time or another.  Fear often starts as a single thought.  As we dwell on that thought, it produces fear.  And if we continue to dwell on fearful thoughts, fear escalates into panic.

The devil likes to attack your mind with fearful thoughts.  He may say, I’m going to kill you.  You won’t live out your full life.  You’ll get cancer and die.  Most of the time there’s no basis at all for what the enemy is saying to your mind.  He doesn’t care.  He just wants you to dwell on his evil suggestions long enough for fear to take over.

I finally realized demonic thoughts come to our minds because the devil isn’t big enough to pull off his schemes on his own.  He’s trying to convince us to agree with him so he can operate in our lives.

Cast down the enemy’s thoughts the second they come.  How do you stop his thoughts?  Well, you can’t think one thing while you’re saying something else.  So open your mouth and start confessing, “Glory to God!  God sent His Word and healed me and satisfies me with long life.  It’s so good to be well!”

When you start speaking God’s Word, thoughts stop and fear leaves.  That will keep your soul from trouble.

Confession:

I refuse to allow fear and doubt to control me.

I keep my soul from trouble by speaking God’s Word.

I live a long, healthy life, and God will fulfill the number of my days.

{marks of emphasis are my own}

What fear is paralyzing you?

Has a random thought ever entered your mind causing fear, doubt, anger or confusion?

Are you consciously taking your thoughts captive to Christ?

Once a thought is thought over, entertained and spoken it has taken us captive—for good or for evil.  This is how Satan begins the establishment of a stronghold {foothold} in our lives. 

Be careful to not passively receive any thought that pops into your mind!

Get active with your thoughts! 

Take them over before they take over you!

* Mark Brazee; 365 Days of Healing; page 271.

I Am So Excited!

Wednesday I'm leaving on a jet plane with my friend to Pennsylvania!

Through God’s orchestration—and working through some pretty special people . . .

my husband,

my sister and brother-in-law,

and some pretty wonderful friends

. . . I am blessed to be able to attend,

Perhaps some of you will be there as well? 

If so, I would love to meet up with you.  Please contact me privately at Robin_McKay at comcast dot net.

God is the Giver of good gifts! 

How blessed I am to be on the receiving end!!! J

**and we'll be not too far from the Hershey Chocolate Factory!  My mission will be not to drown in one of the scrumptious vats of chocolate!**