Monday, October 25, 2010

Broken

Unusual quiet and heaviness fills the air. 

The Littles leave to entertain Grandparents two days.  Furnace man leaves holding check larger than expected.  Lack of sleep and excess caffeine result in fuzzy head to receive through fuzzy ears something about leaks, balancing, improper fit, burned out...  The happy noises are missed.  So is the $800—spending far too little time under our account number at the bank. 

Glancing at the list of projects to accomplish while busy hands are busy at Grandma’s, the top reads “call dentist”.  Heavy heart asks, “How Lord?” 

I speak it over and over and over again, “You are faithful!  You are good!”

Faith must grow! 

Faith is believing for what is not seen.  I see no end to need.  I see no rising coffer. 

Today I strain to see Jesus.  Words from Holy Spirit are silent.  “God...?”

The Adversary tempts thoughts to think on the brokenness this year has brought, the lack Faithful One has allowed.   He loves to visit a heavy heart.  He desires to set up camp on some weary place of spirit. 

I don’t have answers.  My peace is rattled.  My joy....um, yeah...well.....

But I refuse to forfeit holy ground inhabited by Holy Spirit!

Believe I do!  Trust I will!  Faith will grow!

All because of grace, all due to mercy, all out of love—for me!  For I know without doubt that He. loves. ME!  His Character will not change, will not fall short, when it comes to my needs!

Broken.  Yes, today I do feel broken.  But not my spirit.  My spirit remains unbroken!