Friday, May 15, 2009

Loved Certainly

“Just as you cannot understand the path of the wind or the mystery of a tiny baby growing in its mother’s womb, so you cannot understand the activity of God, who does all things.” Ecclesiastes 11:5
Once again, the “verse of the day” on my sidebar grabbed my attention this day.

The “uncertainties” of life are “certainly” directed!

This is what I know. This is all I need to know.

But I will be very honest with you. To just “know” something, to simply believe something, would not always be enough for me time and time again.

“Jesus loves me this I know, for the Bible tells me so...”

The Bible tells me how loved I am, but Jesus shows me His love personally. This is what I cling to when the sadness of losing this baby, or the difficulty of any matter, tempts to seep deeply.
“To know the love of Christ which surpasses knowledge.” Ephesians 3:19a

This verse means to know experientially what I know to be true generally.

I have been told and have believed since I was little that I am loved by God. I believe and cling to this love proven to me during my valley experiences when God reveals Himself to me.

This personal, relational love is Jesus. I have a relationship with my God. I do not follow legalistic rules of a religion.

No legalism would have met my hurting heart like my Father has. No religion would have left me the grace gifts that my Father has. No group of people would have ministered to my grief in the way the body of Christ has.

My Jesus has been so very kind to me. I am certain in His love—for me!

I cannot understand the wind, nor the creation of life in the womb. I cannot understand the activities of God, nor the death of my baby before being fully formed.
But I can be certain of my God’s love for me!

Today, I am more sure of that than I was a month ago. This is not blind faith. This is not wishful thinking. This is not saying and doing the things that I should because I outwardly want everyone to think I am handling this in a “Christ-like” manner.

He has spoken to me, guided my path, controlled my iPod :) and miraculously touched me physically. These facts cannot be ignored and were not imagined. All is certain.

But nothing more so than His love.

I do not understand the why’s behind my miscarriage.

I do understand the love of my Jesus in a deeper, experienced way.

I have learned once again that nothing passes through His hands unredeemed.

If granting me the honor of mothering this child this short while was for no other reason than to show me how deeply He loves me, than this death has been redeemed. I believe there is much more to it than that. But again, having been so richly loved on is enough because walking this path has been absolutely incredible—life altering.

I pray regularly for personal encounters with God for myself, my husband and my children.

No encounter could be more personal than to be certain beyond doubt of God’s individual, deep love for me!
I pray this for you. I pray that you would encounter His love in a personally passionate way! Nothing is more necessary in our journey than this. Then, no matter what God allows to filter down to us through His fingers, we can walk trusting in His proven Love to carry us triumphantly—joyfully!

~Pictures are of love gifts to our family...beautiful case to hold temporary casing of baby's soul with matching cross carving for a keepsake and cherry tree planted in memory~