To be honest, I’m not very good at letting any one take care of me. I don’t like that place of “needing”. I don’t think it’s the vulnerability of it, maybe, but I don’t think that’s it. And it’s not that I don’t want to be beholdin’ to anyone (kind of said that in my thoughts with a southern twang!) J I think it’s more because I have an independent spirit. I like to take care of things on my own, by myself, for myself—you know? Doesn’t that just sound righteous—“I have an independent spirit!” Yep...self-righteous...
The problem with independence is that everywhere in the Bible, Old and New Testament alike, screams for interdependence—upon God, upon His word, upon the direction of the Holy Spirit, upon other believers. Even Jesus needed His dear friends the night in the Garden before He was betrayed. That is why He was so hurt that they could not stay awake and pray on His behalf.
I look at other nations and see a coming together without shame that is so very beautiful. We Westerners are very cut off and private. Just look at how we live in our neighborhoods now compared to even 30-40 years ago. Everyone stays behind their glass and wood cages...behind their white picket fences.
We don’t know each other! We can’t know when we don’t share!
For the past year and a half now, God has asked me to be more vulnerable, more transparent. Where I’d rather keep “my stuff” quietly tucked away within, He’s asking for more honest openness. Sharing here has been God’s way of opening me up to the whole idea of opening up. J He’s been very kind and gentle with me—He always is!
It’s pretty safe to share here because I can be vulnerable without being face-to-face with someone. A lot of my sharing comes from my face-to-face moments alone with God. At first I thought “who’d want to be in on that?” “Who really cares about my spiritual walk?” But God has shown me it’s not so much about being honestly “out there” for everyone to know “my stuff”. It’s about being in communion, in Covenant with others—Him and those who are also in Covenant with Him.
He has been growing me, guiding me, loving me and caring for me. As my willingness to accept being open with my walk—even embracing the openness—has grown over the year, so has my NEED for sharing grown. I have learned I need to share and have others share with me. I need to be vulnerable before others as I need them to be vulnerable before me. This is the beauty and strength of Covenant!
So, back to my original question...
How good are you at letting God take care of you? Do you open yourself up before Him? Are you honest with Him who knows everything about you about how things are with you? Are you honest about your sins, your temptations, your struggles? Do you desire to live before Him with no walls, no secrets, no cover-ups? Do you keep your distance from God like you do your next door neighbor?
He cares for you (1 Peter 5:7). Won’t you allow Him to go deep within you? He already knows what is there to find. We aren’t hiding anything from Him. But He is gentle in His ways and He will not push into our lives. We have to invite Him in and be willing to receive His “wound care” for what He finds there.
Are you willing?