Tuesday, September 30, 2008

To My Precious, Unseen, Little One...

As I wonder about you just now, I can’t help but ask if you wonder about me as well? While God is making, forming, designing and breathing life into you...has He given you thoughts of me?

This journey that you will be taking begins exclusively between you and me, sweetheart. For the next several months only I sense and feel your “creating”. And of all the people who are going to deeply love you, for now, the only love you know of is mine.

God is ever with us. He forms you within me. I cannot express to you the incredible grace gift that it is to partner with God on the creation of your life!

My body holds your form. He breathes to life your soul.

What miraculous gifting is this truly! Yet seen as so ordinarily common to the unconverted eye.

Yes, babies begin forming everyday. Yes, babies develop in the womb everyday. Yes, babies are born everyday. Miraculously unbelievable are those realities. A breath, a life, a soul...an incredibly, intricately, unattainable feat by man. Yet humanity fails to pause as a whole to wonder at the incredibleness of it all.

For this journey, dear one, I am stopping to acknowledge early and now what a miracle you are. I am stopping to acknowledge my trust and faith in the One who is forming you within me. I am stopping to acknowledge all of the lives that will be changed within your lifetime because He breathed life into your nostrils.

Before He created the sun, He had thoughts of you. Before He laid out the land, He smiled at the idea of you. Before He formed the first man, He knew when and why and how He would be forming you. How unfathomable it is to me now to truly grasp the truth of all you are.

I have my fears...doubts of my own abilities. I am reminded of the One who is able. I am reminded of the truth that He needs me to mother you--as imperfectly as I promise that I surely will--for you to become the one that He needs for your time in this world. I draw strength, courage from that.

My imperfections will be perfected by Him. My doubts will turn to hope by Him. My insecurities will be put to rest as I trust in Him.

Knowing that truth, sweet child, as I wonder about you I can envision your thoughts of me more clearly.

Within your secret place, you sense my love in that I have kept you there. Sadly, many are not allowed to stay in that sanctuary. Many that God had planned are not even allowed to begin there. You know I love you already because I have welcomed you and will do my best physically to ensure that you stay in your special place these fleeting months to come.

You sense my devotion. You hear my prayers unto The Father as I daily call on Him to help guide me along my journey as a mother. As I pray to Him for wisdom, patience and guidance you smile knowing I am devoted to being the best mother I can be while we are together.

You sense my purpose. You hear my words to your brothers, sisters and to your father. You float within the waters as I go from room to room of this place you will soon call “home” caring for those who will soon be caring for you. My life has great purpose in this ministry as wife and mother.

You sense my commitment. You hear the words I mutter under my breath that God helps me keep from the rest of the world. You hear the songs of praise as I sing to God of my desire to be more like Him every day. As I read out loud the Psalm of the day, you hear me commit myself to the Creator of not only your precious life, but the Creator of all.

You sense my faithfulness. You have probably already realized that I fail. Yes, little one, I do...and far too often in too many ways. But I have faith in God and His purpose over my life. While you grow and wonder and think about your mother, remember most of all--your Mama’s faith! Faith in you, faith in our family, faith in our purpose here on earth....her faith in God!

As I go about my today, I will stop and wonder about you many times. I will wonder what part of you is growing and forming this day. I will wonder if you are sucking your thumb and doing summersaults in the waters. I will wonder if you are playing with your cord. I will wonder what you sense in the warmth security where you live. I will wonder many things, little one. But I will not have to wonder if you know of my love.

I am confident that your thoughts that are already thinking, that your heart that is already beating, and that your life that is miraculously living is well aware this day of my love.

You have all that I have to give you today with the promise of more for tomorrow and for the day on the other side of that. As your body develops and you grow, my prayer is that you grow in that knowledge as well.

My love for you has well begun, dear one, now it grows as do you.

(Written for a friend who is newly expecting which caused my heart to think back on my own journeys participating with God in the beauty of His most prized creations--human life!)