Escape

This is a brief glimpse into some of my recent todays...

A whiney voice asking for milk (repeatedly) without using that magic word “please” that we have rehearsed time after time, day after day...

A desperate nap interrupted by the smoke detector sounding off after being repulsed by the smell of burning fudge being made by the 14 y.o....

The plate of eggs dropped to the floor...

A torn vertical blind from the sliding glass door leading to the deck...

The full glass of water negligently left out that was knocked over by someone, spilling across the stack of library books...

The library book most saturated...one on potty training, as the 3 ½ y.o. decides that eliminating in the toilet is not a necessity in life, but an intrusion to her rights to be uncomfortable and smelly if she so chooses...

The weeds that don’t take a hint from the last time they were pulled that they are an unwelcome intruder to my vegetable garden...

The deer who take it upon themselves to eat my tomatoes, peppers and zucchini...

Numerous pages of a beautiful copy of beloved Puritan prayers (given to me by my dear friend) scribbled on with colored pencil...

The phone call from a desperate grandmother that I am trying to help pack up to move closer to my parents accusing me of not leaving her a single pan with which to cook her eggs (this after asking repeatedly whether or not she wanted any pans left out)...

The 20 month old screaming as if I were pulling out his fingernails because he dislikes baths so (loves water, pools, puddles...but not baths)...

Rearranging the numbers on our budget for the umpteenth time to add to, once again, the utilities, grocery and gasoline categories...

An overflowing desk of coupons to be clipped and filed, homeschooling paraphernalia to be gone through, lists of projects waiting for my attention and a myriad of other items all bidding for my time...

Husband calling to say he won’t be home until late as he needed to schedule a dinner meeting after his job for the day eliminating all chances of the smaller ones getting to bed with a cheerful smile, loving song and sweet book read to them. (I did brush their teeth, however)...

The incessant, unending cry of the word “Mama”, “Mommy” or “Mom” that begins to reverberate in my mind to the point that I believe I will go insane with the next call...

I escape into a favorite movie like Pride & Prejudice or Jane Eyre. Perhaps a light hearted episode of Avonlea or The Andy Griffith Show. I want to be entertained, romanced perhaps, I am looking for that “happily ever after” at the end of the story that doesn’t particularly happen at the end of each day's story here in this home.

We humans are complex and yet so predictable.

My head throbs, my eye twitches, my aging body aches over chores that once, not too long ago, were easy tasks of little physical consequence. So I look to escape again...

Perhaps into a book, the internet or just into my thoughts as I lay down to rest and imagine a different scenario my life could have taken (not likely...as I do not have Jane Austin writing my life story :) and yet it seems so much more exciting...tantalizing. The difficult days are passed over within a few turned pages in a book or scenes on the screen. There are servants to attend to the messes and the children. There is the handsome suitor to stir within me the romance that I (think I) ache for. Ahh...to escape...

The consequences of such escapes: More dissatisfaction with my true reality...more disappointment with my real world.

But God...He knows my weaknesses far better than I do myself.

“God, I pray that you would keep my heart attentive to “my” world. Not the worlds (fact or fiction) of others. Keep my mind stayed on Thee and on Thy word which is the source for writing my life’s song and my heart’s dance. This world that I live in, this life that is mine, it has been given to me by You. You are the Creator of all and You created my world just for me and for me only. May I relish and rejoice in that truth, not desire escape. Keep my thoughts turned to You and those that I love. Keep my attention on growing in Christlikeness not worldliness. When I allow myself to escape, I enter a dream world of others that keeps me from being an active participant in my own world. I suffer for it. Those who share the journey with me suffer as well. I thank you for “down time”. I appreciate the rest that it brings to my emotions, to my soul. I enjoy the enjoyment. But forbid my “escape” to the point that I choose “make believe” over “God made”. My world is a gift, a treasure unearthed daily for Your Glory. May I live within this world of mine recognizing it for the blessing that it is and do so in a way that is pleasing to You!”

A few minutes remain to start working on the pile overflowing my desk until I head back over to Grandma’s...with a frying pan in hand.